Canary

When I was just a little fledgling, I had a bad habit of losing things. I’d leave the nest for school with a lunchbox, scarf, and hat, and I’d come home with an empty thermos, some plastic tubs, and a crumpled wad of papers. “Where’s all your stuff?” my mom would ask. I’d look down […]

As I write this, a woman believed to be the Central Coast Bandit is in custody. And I don’t know how to feel about that. Well, of course I’m glad that someone who’s been robbing banks—allegedly!—is no longer on the streets, um, allegedly robbing banks. Taking money is taking money, and it doesn’t make you […]

This is the last time. I promise. It has to be. All of my readers who are sick-near-unto-death of me writing about A.B. 65 can be assured that I won’t be writing about it anymore after today. That’s because the state Assembly finally—finally!—agreed that everyone, whether married or single, deserves to be treated the same […]

There’s this movie about all these animated cars that act like people—people with wheels, anyway—and how this quirky tribe of vehicle-men (and -women) lives on Route 66, watching their livelihoods slowly dry up for want of tourist dollars. Here’s the plot: The town operated for years as a waypoint for weary travelers, offering fuel, a […]

Here’s something I bet you didn’t know about me: I love discount shopping. I’m talking all kinds of discount shopping: garage sales, Black Friday sales, Christmas sales, Mother’s Day sales, Father Day’s sales, bar mitzvah sales … wait a second. I don’t think that last one is real, at least on a national scale. I […]

While I loved school back when I was just a fledgling learning to spell and do math and recite historical dates, I really loved recess. The word itself still sends shivers of excitement down my hollow spine. To run! To play! To soar! Recess was practically magical, an oasis of free time amid hours of […]

There’s this old saying about variety being the spice of life, but I think maybe salt is. Sure, some people may argue that it’s cumin or saffron, but to me, salt has universal appeal. It makes everything better—in moderation, of course. Salt makes food more foody. There’s also this old saying about how if you […]

E.B. White wrote, in Charlotte’s Web, that crickets chirped “Summer is dying, dying.” That’s one of the reasons I never invite any of those bugs to my parties. They’re so maudlin. That, and they tend to not use coasters. But here we are, post-heat-wave, post-fireworks. Sunburned skin has either deepened to a tan or is […]

Fireworks and marijuana. They have more in common than you may think. You light one end and hope that what comes out the other will make for an entertaining evening. Also, they’re both illegal.  Kind of. Actually, you’re allowed to fire one up, as long as it’s OK with local regulations.  Lompoc should know. And […]