Canary

Well, tax season is drawing to a close. How did you do this year? I managed to make it through the federal and state rigmarole with my humble bank account still intact, and I should be getting a little extra spending money coming my way soon! Someone’s buying the fancy millet next time she goes […]

Ah, there’s nothing like the smell of legislation. Yes, legislation actually has a smell—many different smells, to be exact. Some bills, like AB65, local Assemblyman Katcho Achadjian’s proposal to extend rape-by-fraud protections to unmarried women, smell like justice and morality. I’m honestly not sure what that smells like, but you’d recognize it if you got […]

Two weeks back, I short-circuited the natural order and ran a column on a week that wasn’t a part of my regular rotation. I enjoyed the freedom to stretch my words so much, I asked the editors if I could take this every-other-week endeavor and turn it into a weekly gig. After a lot of […]

How often do you look up? As a bird, I look up all the time. The skies are my domain, and I always need to know how they look. I’m constantly asking questions, many of which are filled with jargon you surface-huggers probably can’t even pronounce. Is that smudge on the horizon going to force […]

This isn’t my typical column week. You shouldn’t be reading this right now. But I couldn’t wait until my scheduled slot to share what’s on my mind, so I asked the editors if I could have this space. They agreed–cautioning that this was my idea, so they weren’t obligated to throw any extra birdseed my […]

I’m tired off all the l-holes I’ve been seeing lately. No, I’m not dropping some new street slang I learned from a gang of tough canaries. I’m talking about loopholes. But saying “l-hole” feels more satisfying, because I’m angry. A few columns back, I wrote about something called “rape by fraud” and the efforts of […]

How do you get songs out of your head? I need some help, because my brain has been like an iPod with only one song, stuck on endless repeat. Or maybe shuffle. But it’s still just one song. I’m a regular victim of catchy music. I find myself whistling tunes for days at a time. […]

Worry is a good thing. Right? I mean, it can be a good thing. Like, if you never worried about cavities, tooth decay, or gingivitis, you would probably never brush your teeth, because who wants to do that mind-numbing chore at least twice a day? Seriously, I don’t understand how you humans get along with […]