Canary

Gov. Jerry Brown recently said, “While Washington waffles on immigration, California’s forging ahead. I’m not waiting.” That galvanized me to action. Before hearing those words, I was sleepily wondering what to do about this crazy country I live in. Afterward, I leapt up and made breakfast. Boy, do I love waffles. I love them more […]

You don’t know this, but I spend weeks working on each of my columns. Months. I brainstorm ideas far in advance of ever pecking anything out on my keyboard. Even the ones that are about something that just happened a few days prior happen this way. Don’t ask how. It just works. This week’s edition, […]

Hey, I’m keeping it brief this week, mostly because I got an e-mail that stated “Good Afternoon, I have a number of potential customers looking for a Document Shredding company in your area. I thought you would make a good fit.” Frankly, I was flattered that they thought of me, so I’m researching the best […]

The headline in the San Francisco Chronicle read: “Rift puts Maldonado campaign in even bigger hole.” It’s not a flattering image. Just picture the former lieutenant governor sitting, forlorn, at the bottom of a pit. Maybe there’s some gravel tumbling down the edges as they widen. He’s looking up with those big, brown eyes of […]

Everybody makes a big deal about the birds and the bees, but I gotta tell you: The two groups don’t mingle all that much. Sure, as animals, we generally both fly, we both tend to make our homes in trees, and we all hum or whistle because we don’t remember the words to most songs, […]

When I was just a little fledgling, I had a bad habit of losing things. I’d leave the nest for school with a lunchbox, scarf, and hat, and I’d come home with an empty thermos, some plastic tubs, and a crumpled wad of papers. “Where’s all your stuff?” my mom would ask. I’d look down […]

As I write this, a woman believed to be the Central Coast Bandit is in custody. And I don’t know how to feel about that. Well, of course I’m glad that someone who’s been robbing banks—allegedly!—is no longer on the streets, um, allegedly robbing banks. Taking money is taking money, and it doesn’t make you […]

This is the last time. I promise. It has to be. All of my readers who are sick-near-unto-death of me writing about A.B. 65 can be assured that I won’t be writing about it anymore after today. That’s because the state Assembly finally—finally!—agreed that everyone, whether married or single, deserves to be treated the same […]

There’s this movie about all these animated cars that act like people—people with wheels, anyway—and how this quirky tribe of vehicle-men (and -women) lives on Route 66, watching their livelihoods slowly dry up for want of tourist dollars. Here’s the plot: The town operated for years as a waypoint for weary travelers, offering fuel, a […]

Here’s something I bet you didn’t know about me: I love discount shopping. I’m talking all kinds of discount shopping: garage sales, Black Friday sales, Christmas sales, Mother’s Day sales, Father Day’s sales, bar mitzvah sales … wait a second. I don’t think that last one is real, at least on a national scale. I […]

While I loved school back when I was just a fledgling learning to spell and do math and recite historical dates, I really loved recess. The word itself still sends shivers of excitement down my hollow spine. To run! To play! To soar! Recess was practically magical, an oasis of free time amid hours of […]