I wanted to write another column about the drought. I know water. Everybody likes water.
Then I thought about discussing the music licensing issues raised elsewhere in the paper this week. I know music. Everybody likes music.
But this was all just hemming and hawing and putting off the subject I knew in my heart I should be focusing on for my column. I’ve written about it before, but that doesn’t make it any easier to write about it now.
It’s my least favorite topic, but it’s one that I push myself to present, because it’s the sort of problem that only gets worse when left in darkness and silence.
National media have been busy discussing a local trial that could determine whether the Boy Scouts of America is liable for what some people allege is the organization’s failure to educate Scouts about sex abuse. The case in question stems from molestation allegations from some years back, the specifics of which have reportedly already come and gone with a resolved criminal proceeding.
Not to gloss over that aspect of this story, but the particulars are, in this instance, taking backseat to the bigger picture—and I have no interest in hashing and rehashing a traumatic event here.
My interest is in the idea that an overarching organization could be responsible for warning its incoming members about the chance that they could be abused at the hands of their leaders. The leaders they’re also being told to follow. To trust.
Of course this idea immediately calls to mind another organization that’s had its ugly side exposed on a global level: the Catholic church.
And, come to think of it, wasn’t there a college coach scandal that involved a pattern of abuse and cover up?
And, wait, don’t we see this sort of story time and again in relation to professional athletes? Or am I thinking soldiers?
I absolutely agree that institutions with a known history of abuse—no matter who, exactly, knows that history—should be forthcoming about that. We’ve all seen the damage caused by cover-ups, quiet discipline, and the silent shuffling of accused or even proven abusers to new positions or geographic locations. This damage has been to abused individuals and to the organizations themselves. No one is spared.
And I’m certainly not one to sow seeds of mistrust. Still, I have to ask: What major institutions haven’t been rocked by such horrific scandals in recent years? Warnings against sex abuse should come with entrance into any institution: the church, higher learning, collegiate and professional sports teams, the military, the Boy Scouts.
This list will grow longer. Sadly, it will.
I’m not trying to be flippant. I genuinely believe that every one of these organizations should be required to lay out its collective garbage for incoming members to see. Put it all on the table.
Does every branch of every group have its dirty secrets? As cynical as I sound in this column, I’m going to say no. But that’s not the point here.
Pouring these risks out from coast to coast is good defense against the molesters and abusers who prefer to hide in the convenient blind spots created by leaders who look the other way. With more eyes open, there will be fewer concealed corners.
You might be tempted to look at my list and say, “Well, why not just issue warnings to anyone alive? Life, it seems, is dangerous and prone to abuse.”
Yes!
Don’t limit conversations about predators and dangerous situations to times when children—or any loved ones—are entering one particular field. Let folks know (in age-appropriate language, of course) that there are people who will seek to wield their power, influence, respect, friendship, leadership, and even love to bad ends. That there are people who will be presented as paragons of trust, and who will seek to abuse that trust.
Spreading that message is not fear mongering. It’s empowering the youngest, most vulnerable members of our society. It’s encouraging them to speak up, and to know that when they speak up, they won’t be told that they’re lying, or that they asked for it, or that they must have misunderstood, or that there’s no way such a reliable, virtuous person would ever do anything remotely like what they’re being accused of doing. Or, worse yet: nothing. That nothing will happen. That the whole incident will get stepped over and nudged aside and trampled under the heels of a nation of uncaring adults who should instead have picked it up, held it under the brightest light they could find, and invited everyone else to take a long, uncomfortable look.
Talking about sex abuse does not make sex abuse happen.
Talking about sex abuse is not dirty. It’s not wrong. And it’s not something that should be ignored out of fear of making someone uncomfortable or painting a parent organization in a potentially poor light.
Sex abuse is the problem. Talking isn’t.
The Canary will talk about this as often as it takes. Send comments or ideas to canary@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Feb 20-27, 2014.
