ROB KRIDER

Moms have a very tough job. I wouldn’t want that job for anything. They are required to be loving but stern, playful but practical, and occasionally they have to be, um, please excuse the term, they have to be complete bitches. It’s true. It is actually written in the job description of being a mother. […]

Some say marriage is like a rollercoaster ride. Before you get on, you feel excitement and anticipation, but once you’re strapped in, you’re scared to death and thrilled all at the same time. Some people want the ride to last forever, while others become nauseous and lose their corn dog and cotton candy lunch. My […]

Marriage is about teamwork. My wife likes to plan family vacations, and, therefore, I like to pay for them. I do have to give my wife credit, though, because if it wasn’t for her exceptional planning (nagging and dragging me places), my kids wouldn’t know the Matterhorn is a rollercoaster at Disneyland. Instead, they might […]

Sometimes I am completely retarded. I know, I know, that isn’t a very politically correct thing to say anymore. But when it comes to doing very simple tasks—for instance ordering something to eat at a restaurant—I fit the definition of being retarded quite well. Webster (the dictionary, not the African-American kid with all the personality […]

Last weekend, the kids and I were enjoying an easy Sunday morning when the worst possible thing happened: My wife woke up and decided she was in the mood for some spring cleaning. On the surface, that doesn’t sound like a bad thing. Who doesn’t like a clean house? But the problem is, when she […]

I’ll admit my wife and I enjoy partaking in a few alcoholic beverages from time to time. We’re both adults and we work hard for the weekend, so, occasionally, we like to see the empty bottom of a beer can—or seven. As a couple, we have always been very responsible when it comes to drinking […]

The other morning, my fifth grade daughter woke up and realized she didn’t like the length of her bangs. She decided to go ahead and give them a “little” trim. Then she didn’t like that her bangs were crooked, so she trimmed them some more. Then she thought they were a bit too short, so […]

My employer scheduled me for a week’s worth of training in another city. Apparently, after 10 years at the same place, I have no idea what I am doing at work, and to get someone to actually teach me how to do my job is so challenging it required the services of someone from out […]

When I come home from work each day, I walk right into the middle of a battlefield. On one side stands my son: tall, good-looking, 13 years old. When he’s not being sarcastic, he’s mumbling, rendering communication with him quite difficult. On the opposing side is my wife, whom I love: beautiful, loving, intelligent, has […]