ROB KRIDER

The other night, I was happily surfing the Internet, checking for good deals on Elvis PEZ dispensers from Austria, when my computer suddenly turned off. At first I thought it was a power outage, until I realized that every light in my house was still on (and I mean every single light; my kids are […]

In my mind, I’m still a young, hip, cool guy, an assessment I’m sure both of my kids would quickly disagree with. Nowadays, when I look in the mirror, I don’t see my laid-back, good-looking, surfer self (another non-factual self assessment). I see some other dude, some dude with lines near his eyes and hair […]

I used my second-grade math skills the other day, but somehow forgot to move a decimal point, resulting in my bank account being overdrawn. Whoops. For this act of stupidity, the bank awarded me with a charge (overdraft fee) for insufficient funds. The fee put my bank account further in the red. This process seems […]

Most of the summer I have been a good boy, and I’ve spent a lot of time with my kids and my wife, whom I love. We frequented the beach, the lake, amusement parks, museums, and even the La Brea Tar Pits. Essentially, most of my summer was spent driving around looking for the cleanest […]

Vacation is supposed to be for fun and relaxation. Back in the day when I was a carefree kid, vacations were fun. The toughest decision I had to make at 10 years old was which roller coaster I should sprint to next. Now that I am a parent, vacations are less relaxing and more like […]

My house recently reached critical mass. My garage was bulging with old bicycles and broken car parts. My bedroom closet was bursting with clothes that don’t fit, are riddled with holes, and are out of style (not that they were ever actually in style). Each drawer in the house was overflowing with pens without ink, […]

Women spend a lot of time and money making themselves look good. Guys rarely appreciate how much pain and suffering goes into the effort of beautification. The fact of the matter is, guys don’t appreciate it because guys have never tried to do it. When we want to look good, we get a $12 haircut […]

The paint on my rain gutters is peeling. The backyard gate won’t close. Two of the front window shutters need repairing. My house needs some tender loving care. The big question is this: Am I working diligently on household to-do items and keeping my wife, whom I love, happy? Nope. Instead, I’ve been in the […]