There is no one more stressed than a woman trying to get ready to go to a wedding, party, graduation, theater—let’s be honest, really any event requiring clothing more formal than flip flops and a T-shirt. You think the Oval Office was a stressful place during the Cuban Missile Crisis? That was a trip to […]
As a married man, I learned very quickly that there is a double standard for pretty much everything. Men and women are different, and therefore they obey different rules. For instance, it’s OK for wives to talk about how “hot” an actor is, where husbands don’t really have that option. If a man and a […]
We live in a sexist society, period. It is what it is. I didn’t start the trend, and I am not the one who designed the stereotypes. Do I occasionally reinforce them? Sure. I think it’s funny when someone makes a “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” joke about women. I only laugh because it […]
Californians are very smart people. Don’t think so? Just ask one. We think we are awesome because everyone else in the world wants to live here. We know that movies are filmed here, the stars live here, and we invented the iPhone. We Californians don’t sweat the little details, like the fact that the iPhone […]
Historically, Mother’s Days have felt like the longest days of my life. I love my wife; she is a great mom to my children, and I want to show her how much I appreciate her by doing wonderful and thoughtful things for her on Mother’s Day. But, it’s just that Mother’s Day is an “all […]
My 12-year-old daughter is in the seventh grade. I am quickly finding out that the difference between sixth grade and seventh grade is like four grades. If sixth grade was the Beach Boys, then seventh grade would have to be the Beastie Boys. Every afternoon my “little girl” comes home from school and says something […]
When I was in the seventh grade, my primary priority in life was girls. That single priority resulted in a lot of other subsequent priorities that became increasingly important, like my hair cut, my deodorant choices, and the jeans I wore. Guess? (No, I’m not asking you to guess what kind of jeans I wore—the […]
I’ve been married for a long, long time to the same woman, my wife, whom I love. We tied the knot more than 15 years ago. That means that for more than 15 years I have been wrong about just about everything, and I haven’t gone a day when I skipped shaving without getting grief […]
I have a very serious problem. I can’t open things. I’m not talking about doors of opportunity or anything metaphorical or meaningful. Like, I can’t open a package of cheese. Any item wrapped in some sort of clear plastic that normally requires two fingers and the slightest tearing to open, I absolutely can’t do it. […]
Last week, my Tuesday began like most Tuesdays do. I woke up a few minutes later than I should have. I did some snooze button math and decided that I still had enough time to take a quick shower as long as I used the speed limit as more of a guideline, rather than a […]
It was a fine moment. Everything was right. There I was, at the world famous Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca, driving my racecar at ludicrous speeds around the racecourse while my pit crew timed my increasingly fast laps. The car was looking great, the team was prepared, and I was passing cars like a madman on […]
My wife is a smart lady. You could even say she is a genius. Sure, she still tries to put five pints of fluid into a two-quart cup. But, regardless of her inability to understand spatial relationships, she truly is quite intelligent. Even people with an IQ of 140 struggle with the complex conversions of […]
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