Some people say a man’s house is his castle. But most homeowners will tell you that in reality a man’s house is his hassle. When you own a home and the water heater stops working, you don’t call the landlord and threaten to get the city involved if he doesn’t have the water heater fixed […]
I’m sure you’ve heard of this thing they call a conscience: that little voice inside your head telling you something is a bad idea. It drops little warnings or hints to keep you out of trouble. I don’t have that. There’s no little voice trying to keep me from doing something stupid. I’m married; I […]
The other day I was sitting at the kitchen table working on a little organization project. I was as happy as a clam, labeling things with my label maker, putting together small boxes to store things in and make stuff easy to find. My wife, who wanted me doing other things, like taking out the […]
My son’s birthday is quickly approaching. It will be his sweet 16. I decided, based on his gender, to forgo throwing him an extravagant birthday party with musical guests Usher and Justin Bieber. Instead, I figured I would just buy him a car. I’m not buying him a car to spoil him. I am buying […]
The magical day finally arrived. The day where my wife and I realized that our kids were old enough to contribute to the household by doing some chores. Finally, the kids were mature enough to actually help out and clean stuff instead of just messing up stuff. For years, our children only existed as little […]
Last week, my son’s childhood innocence was ripped from his little boyhood soul. To be more specific, his bicycle was ripped from the bike rack at school. His two-wheeler was stolen from him by some rotten dudes, thus changing his outlook on society forever. My son’s bike was his mode of transportation, and it was […]
Most people don’t realize this, but beer has a built-in safety device. It’s called a coma. You see, when I drink a lot of beer (and I don’t do this very often, only on the weekends, holidays, and days when I have to go to the dentist) eventually I drink so much that I pass […]
Women and men are different. I know that seems like an incredibly obvious statement, but I’m not talking about melons or other fruits and berries of the human anatomy. I mean men and women are very different. I came up with this hypothesis after studying the opposite sex day and night for 16 years straight. […]
I know it may sound impossible, but it truly did happen. My wife caught my barbecue on fire … like really on fire, as in call the fire department kind of on fire. Yes, I know the whole thing sounds sort of ironic, since barbecues are designed, built, and used to contain fire. The whole […]
Doctors aren’t dumb and here’s why: they slyly refer to their craft as “practicing medicine” and not “game day medicine.” Of course, I think most of us will agree that when the doctor is about to complete orthoscopic knee surgery, we are all looking for a determined and focused “game day” doctor. Nobody wants a […]
When my kids were babies, I couldn’t wait for the day when they would wake up and be able to wipe their own asses. I love being a dad, but time has shown that I’m more of a “let’s go build a go-kart” kind of a dad versus a “let’s play peek-a-boo and then check […]
My little brother decided to get married … again. Which meant that I would be the best man … again. Which also meant I would be required to throw him a bachelor party … again. I’m only bent out of shape about it because what this all really means is I have to get my […]
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