I love carousels. Like, those old-fashioned kinds with the fancy prancing horses with flaring nostrils and the flaking gilt curlicues and the slightly off-key calliope music.
Wait, did I say I love them? I meant to say that they creep me out.
But I love to be creeped out, so I guess weāre all good.
Anyway, thereās something so magical and weird about perching yourself on a point in space that moves up and down and around and around but deposits you back where you first began. It feels like youāre getting somewhere while youāre on the ride, but when the whole contraption shudders to a stop, youāre nowhere new. Some riders find that reality to be dissatisfying, but I enjoy the opportunity to take a journey without getting too far from where I feel safe.
This sort of boardwalk-based circuit popped into my head when I started reading the California Department of Educationās decision on structural flaws and uncertified buildings in the Santa Maria-Bonita School District.
Actually, it popped into my head when I started reading about the departmentās decision. Specifically, how the parties involved are responding.
True to form, the opposing sides in this situation donāt agree on much. In fact, they seem to be on different planets.
It all beganāas best as I can understand itāwhen school board member and perennial Canary column-fodder-producer Will Smith complainedāofficially, with paperwork and everythingāto the district, alleging that newly constructed buildings have structural flaws that render them unsafe. The official complaint route he chose to follow involved a specific education code concerning an emergency or urgent threat to health and safety.
The district jumped on that same path and said his complaint didnāt meet the criteria necessary for something called the Williams Uniform Complaint Procedure, which covers urgencies, emergencies, and the like.
Smith disagreed and appealed his decision to the California Department of Education, which just recently responded with a bit of official-looking text that both Smith and the district are saying backs their respective claims.
Those carousel horses could learn a thing or two about spin from these guys.
I tried to flutter my way through the department document myself, and while it seems deceptively straightforward, there does appear to be wiggle room for interpretation. Sort of.
Seeāagain, as best as I can understand itāthe ultimate findings were that some of Smithās allegations of structural unsoundness were vague, and the specific problems that were identified, which involved gymnasiums and roofs and two-story buildings, were pretty much resolved. Various departments running various tests are cited throughout the document. While the report admits that some remedies are still in process, it also says that the ādeficiencies do not rise to the level of an imminent threat to the health and safety of pupils or staff.ā
This line stood out the most to me: āAlthough it does not seem that the deficiencies that are currently unresolved meet the imminent threat level that applies to the Williams Uniform Complaint Procedure, the certification does represent a level of safety assurance that is required by law.ā
And thatās where everyone can plant their respective victory flag. Smith can crow about the districtās buildings not meeting legal safety certification requirements, while the district itself can pat itself on the back for acknowledging that there are potential problems left behind by TurnKeyās failed building attempts and for working to fix them. Smith says the buildings still arenāt safe. The district says theyāre just dotting some iās and crossing some tās.
The state department further clarified/muddied the waters by chasing its conclusions with a statement saying āthe CDE found no facility conditions to exist that posed an emergency or urgent threat to the safety of pupils or staff.ā
Again, see the wiggle room? Thereās no emergency or urgent threat. But Will, Iām sure, will say that there is a latent threat. An un-urgent threat. A ticking time bomb of a threat. The district, Iām sure, will say that everything is fine, of course, and will continue to be fineāor at least on its way to fine, which is fine with the people who would otherwise be levying fines.
And Iām back where I started. I sort of feel like we all are. Weāve gone all the way around and have come back again.
Really, what has changed? Smith told the Times (heās no longer talking to the Sun, Iāve heard): āAnd most of all, I feel that this is going to make those buildings safe for our children.ā
District spokesperson Maggie White told the Sun: āWe felt very pleased with the report. Itās not a huge change because what the CDE said is what weāre already doing, which is working with the state architect.ā
I guess the only difference between now and back when Smith was first making his complaint is that, these days, the folks involved all feel like progress is being made. Forget that each opponent is essentially laying claim to the forward motionāat least thereās motion, right? Or continued motion, depending on whom you believe.
No matter what, Iām sure parents and students will be happy to know that their safety is secured. Or will be. Or is in the process of being so. Or always has been.
Anybody who still feels like he or she doesnāt have the whole picture is free to hop on the carousel with me for another spin. I call dibs on the black horse with the jingly bells on its reins, the exposed teeth, and the mismatched eyes.
The Canary feels safest in the sky. Contact her at canary@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Jun 6-13, 2013.

