The fundraising race for November 2020 is off to a roaring start! You know elections, for the people, by the people, don’t really matter, right? It’s all about that money, baby!
If the last two cycles are any indication for what we should be expecting for the 24th Congressional District race, incumbent Salud Carbajal will out-raise his opponent by around $1 million (which is ridiculous, amirite?)—and you know what? We’re on track for that so far.
Challenger Andy Caldwell, your favorite shrill-voiced liberal-hater of radio commentator and Coalition for Labor, Agriculture, and Business fame, had raised a whopping $67,303 by the Sept. 30 campaign finance filing deadline. Carbajal, your favorite party-line toer who loves to rail against Agitator-in-Chief Donald Trump, was at a cool $983,220. Hey! That’s almost a $1 million difference!
Yeah, at this point, we all know that Carbajal could raise money even if he shot a guy in the plain daylight of New York City’s Madison Avenue. His people absolutely love him, folks! They think he’s the absolute best. The guy has already raised $7 million total since he started running for the seat. Holy crap! Is that really necessary?
It makes me want to vomit a little.
Isn’t there anything better you political donors can think to do with that cash? I hear there’s an affordable housing shortage, a homelessness crisis, and a bunch of federal land on the Central Coast that needs to be saved from those Big Bad Frackers with the green light to drill, baby, drill! (Actually, they don’t have the green light just yet as the Bureau of Land Management hasn’t actually issued an official decision on the environmental impact statement all of the environmentalists are so concerned about, and the projects that everyone is worried about taking up every pristine federal acre of open land on the Central Coast haven’t really been proposed yet, but I digress!) Maybe all of you potentially concerned liberal constituents out there with money to burn could do a little donating to those causes. I hear Carbajal’s campaign chest isn’t hurting for cash.
Meanwhile, Caldwell’s campaign guy Tab Berg said Caldwell isn’t concerned about fundraising. “Andy isn’t running to be the best fundraiser,” Berg told the Sun.
Well, I hope not, because he’s losing already.
Plus, Berg said, Andy did get into the race just 25 days before the Sept. 30 campaign finance report deadline. OK, OK. Salud’s been running for the seat for almost six years, but um, just one quick question. Didn’t Caldwell announce his candidacy on Aug. 12? That’s not 25 days. Is my math off?
Berg also told the Sun, “fundraising has accelerated and we are well beyond $250,000 already. But it is more than just dollars.” What does “more than just dollars” mean? Is that code for something? Is it $67,303 in cash and $182,697 in doughnuts and T-shirts or something (which, also needs to be reported to the Secretary of State)?
One thing’s for sure. Money wins races. As gross as it is. So Caldwell’s campaign advisor might be saying that “we are competing for votes, not money” now, but we all know what really matters in an election isn’t the people. It’s the money.
And it’s time to get that “grassroots” ass in gear.
The Canary hates money but knows what it’s good for. Send comments to canary@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Nov 14-21, 2019.
