Several dozen people gathered at Santa Maria City Hall on Oct. 11—National Coming Out Day—in memory of the many lesbian, gay, bi, and transgender youth who have committed suicide or had their lives taken by others due to bullying or violent discrimination.
The evening vigil began with a somber slide show of pictures of individuals who have chosen to end their young lives, including Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers University freshman who in September jumped off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate allegedlly posted an online video of him being intimately involved with another male student.
The community vigil—which was organized by gay rights advocacy groups in the North and South County—also addressed recent violence toward LGBT community members in Santa Barbara County. The groups are calling for “safety, inclusion, and equity in our schools and communities,” according to a press release announcing the event.
“We felt with all the things happening nationally and here in Santa Maria, no one was saying that bullying is wrong,” said Cristina Gonzalez, program manager of the Fund for Santa Barbara and a board member of Gay Rights Advocates for Change and Equality (GRACE).
“We have to stand up and say bullying is wrong or people will think it’s OK to harass someone because of their sexuality or any other identity,” she said.
After a moment of silence for those who “have died or been murdered,” according to GRACE representative Robert Hubbard, event organizers invited members of the public to come speak about their experiences of bullying, harassment, or discrimination.
David Selberg, executive director of Pacific Pride Foundation, read a letter from Congresswoman Lois Capps (D-Santa Barbara), who was speaking at a similar vigil in Santa Barbara. He praised Capps for her involvement in passing the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. The bill, which was passed by Congress in 2009, gives federal assistance to states and local jurisdictions to prosecute hate crimes, including those committed based on sexuality.
“It’s easy to become jaded,” Selberg said, referring to the recent string of suicides and hate crimes. “But the important thing is that we’re here and we’re visible.”
Selberg also talked about how difficult it can be for young people to come out to their families and communities.
“Will our families throw us out?” he asked. “Will our churches tell us we’re going to hell?
“Kids come out younger and younger today, so they’re even more vulnerable to harassment,” he added, saying that’s why it’s important for a community to come together to support them.
Santa Maria City Council member Alice Patino took a moment at the microphone to build on that sentiment. Patino, a longtime member of Fighting Back Santa Maria Valley, said it’s vital that the community “be responsible and courageous enough to stand up for the kids who need us.” She said her organization is dedicated to preventing all types of harassment and discrimination based on religion, ethnicity, or any other identity.
And Philip Cordero, another GRACE member, summed up the message of the evening when he said: “The thing we need to learn from this is not to hate the people who have killed people or done the bullying. We need to take them in our arms and teach them how to love.”
This article appears in Oct 14-21, 2010.