I don’t know crap about sports, but I do know a little about wings and beer. I also know March Madness is a thing that happens, and sometimes while it’s happening you can find me at Buffalo Wild Wings drunkenly screaming “SPORTS!” at the TV with barbecue sauce slathered all over my face.

I thus consider myself an expert when assessing the best places to grab some wings, pound a pint, and watch those tall guys run up and down that little court. So, with some help from my friends at Yelp, I present to you a few of Santa Maria’s best spots for wings, beer, and basketball.
1. Figueroa Mountain Brewing Co.
So maybe Fig Mountain doesn’t have the best or widest selection of wings in the world, but hear me out: It has a lot of good beer—and a whole menu featuring just beer floats, which is disgusting and awesome. Not sold yet? Really? Well, you and I obviously judge our eateries by very different standards. Let me see if I can appeal to yours.
At Fig Mountain, you’ve got a decent amount of seating and some respectable TV monitors to choose from, especially when you throw the attached Me-n-Ed’s pizzeria venue into the mix. The wings you’ll find at Fig Mountain are “normal” (whatever that means) according to one Yelp reviewer, but the important thing to note is that they’re fried—not baked. So don’t worry about accidentally eating anything remotely healthy while you’re sitting at a bar, yelling profanities at a team of hyperfit athletes on television.
For a pound of chicken wings flavored either hot, natural, or barbecue, you’re looking at about $9. Fig Mountain’s beers are priced at $8 for a four-beer tasting flight, $6 for each of their year-round beers, and $2 for samplers.
2. Rooney’s Irish Pub
Know how to cheers in Irish Gaelic? “Sláinte!”
Now that you know the only Irish word required to make Irish friends, you’ll fit in perfectly at Rooney’s. The space is dim and homey, featuring a selection of craft beers as well as an in-house selection and the required staples for any self-respecting pub attempting an Irish/UK vibe (Guinness, etc.). You’ll snag a seat and a screen, no problem.

You’ll find wings on the appetizer menu in three flavors: Blarney, buffalo, and mango habanero. It sounds like an odd array and, to be completely honest with you, I have no idea what a Blarney wing is. But whatever.
You can score a plate of wings at Rooney’s for $11. Beer prices vary. Check out the pub’s happy hours all day on Monday, from 3 to 6 p.m. on Thursday, and from 9 to 10 p.m. Thursday through Saturday.
3. Wingstop
OK, yes, I know: Wingstop kind of sucks when it comes to having a sit-down meal and watching SPORTS. The place is small and only has like two tiny TV monitors, and one of them is all fuzzy. And the only beers it has on tap are Blue Moon, 805, and Bud Light. But this is a column about wings, and so far the only restaurants I’ve mentioned are beer places that happen to serve wings, so now it’s time for me to talk about a wings place that happens to serve beer.
I don’t even want to get into Wingstop’s variety of wings because the vastness of it all makes my head spin. But if you’re craving, like, boneless Cajun wings or classic hickory smoked barbecue wings or teriyaki crispy tenders—this is where you’ll get them. And they will taste really good, and you will be happy.
So if you’re looking to pair your basketball with some bottled beer and a widely varied spread of wings, Wingstop is the way to go. (And more importantly, takeout from Wingstop is the way to go.)
Wingstop’s menu is so large, it’s hard to list prices, but here are the basic combos: six-piece combo for $8.49, eight-piece for $9.49, 10-piece for $10.49, or 15-piece for $16.69.
Brenna Swanston is off to test the strength of her stomach on beer floats from Fig Mountain. To make sure she’s OK, email bswanston@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Mar 24-31, 2016.

