The Canary

If you think your life is bad during 2020, you can take solace in the fact that Lompoc had actual dumpster fires over the second weekend in September—well, you can take solace if you don’t actually live in Lompoc.   Ismael Zaragoza Chavez is suspected of starting multiple dumpster fires, as well as a vehicle […]

Apparently, Santa Barbara County is taking a page out of the LA playbook. In April, LA prosecutors filed charges against several retailers that refused to follow COVID-19 closure orders.  A paddleboarder even got arrested for violating beach closure orders, according to the LA Times. How many law enforcement officials does it take to arrest a […]

Apparently East Coast residents felt the need to give Solvang some direction, going so far as to call in to the City Council meeting with their two cents on exactly what the city should do about Doubletree Carriage’s application for a horse-drawn conveyance license.  That horse-drawn carriage drama! It extends beyond those quaint Danish-inspired streets!  […]

To be perfectly frank—to speak with extreme candor—I have a hard time following almost anything that tumbles out of Andy Caldwell’s mouth. But then again, perhaps that’s because his thoughts are just too big for my simple canary capacity.  Or maybe, it’s because this particular candidate for the 24th District seat in the U.S. House […]

Well, it really happened. Solvang’s voters will get the chance to recall City Councilmember Chris Djernaes on Nov. 3.  More than 25 percent of the city’s registered voters signed the petition, so neither the city nor Santa Barbara County has a choice but to put it on the ballot. The people have spoken!  Lammy Johnstone, […]

Sometimes when you tune in to the right Santa Barbara County Planning Commission, you get more than you bargained for.  And often, that’s in hours—people droning on about zoning and regulations that support their opposition to their neighbor installing a patio.  “The very thought of them enjoying their backyard conjures up noise, noise, noise!” But […]

Order anything from China lately? How about a pair of pumpkin stud earrings?  Just kidding! They’re just seeds. Seeds you didn’t order. And they’re showing up in your mailbox after you order random stuff online. And they come labeled as jewelry such as “pumpkin stud earrings.”  At least the package that arrived on Mike Brown’s […]

Lompoc has some roiling drama in its Federal Correctional Complex (FCC). It’s under the microscope for how its leadership has been handling, or apparently not handling, the efforts to mitigate the spread of COVID-19 in the prison facilities.  In a nutshell: The Lompoc FCC should have released more of its eligible incarcerated individuals to home […]

Solvang Trolley and Carriage Company drama collided with Solvang City Council drama and exploded into a cacophony of voices during a recent meeting that got so out of control Mayor Ryan Toussaint slammed his gavel down at one point and broke it!  He totally doesn’t know his own strength.  Guess what it was about?  Something […]

Well, it’s official. The apocalypse is back in full swing! Indoor activities are mostly off-limits, and the state is closing down again.  Gross! I don’t want to write about this, again. I’m tired of it. You’re tired of it, Gov. Gavin Newsom’s tired of it, believers and nonbelievers are tired of it. We’re sick and […]

Hey, you guys! It turns out that a bunch of retirees who have an extra 20 hours a week on their hands to do research and write reports don’t actually like marijuana.  A real shocker, I know.  The most recent report released by the Santa Barbara County grand jury is aptly titled “Cannabis.” It’s about—you […]

Good job, guys! Way to keep the pandemic at bay! Oh wait, actually, we haven’t done that. Santa Barbara County, which blamed its high numbers on the Lompoc federal prison a month ago, is currently on a state watch list because its COVID-19 numbers are increasing at an uncomfortable rate. And, as an added bonus, […]