Mohammad Mohabbat has been many things: a foreign-exchange student, a war prisoner, a musician, an author, a proponent for women’s rights, a preacher at the Islamic Center, and a photographer.
Recently, however, he’s become what many of his clients call a modern-day Cupid: an old-fashioned matchmaker.
Mohabbat first came to the United States as a high-school exchange student. His friends called him Mo. His early experiences here forged in him a strong bond with the country—though that loyalty would later cause trouble in his life. Once back in his native Afghanistan, his support for the United States resulted in his being thought of as an American spy and, subsequently, his imprisonment.
Mohabbat escaped and fled to the United States with his wife and small children in tow. He used his engineering education to create a comfortable life on the Central Coast, putting the past behind him. He ultimately retired from his position as an engineer for the city of Lompoc and began Awesome Photography and Video in Orcutt.
But after Sept. 11, sentiment changed, and his Afghan and Muslim heritage caused him to lose many friendships. And Mohabbat began to speak out about cultural division. He details that time of his life in his book My Name is Mohammad, which talks about his early years, the imprisonment and torture he endured, and his escape.
But it was his satellite television show Word of Love that really became a platform from which he could try to bring cultures together.
Love and unity are the program’s main topics, but Mohabbat also takes the opportunity to speak out against the often cruel way women are treated in his home country. His views and advocacy began attracting callers from different parts of the world.
“Women would call in and say, ‘I wish I could find someone like you,’” Mohabbat said.
His advice on family matters soon had men calling in, too, asking for relationship help. Suddenly, Mohabbat found himself in the matchmaking business.
Unlike modern-day Internet dating, Mohabbat doesn’t post pictures or names or bios. He said such a web presence allows people to give false presentations of themselves to match with someone they think looks attractive. Instead, he handles the matches himself.
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He uses the utmost discretion, partly to protect identities but also because for some of his clients, particularly those used to arranged marriages, it’s taboo for a woman or her family to look for a husband. So Mohabbat interviews men and women looking for a spouse, and when he finds two people who match—in his opinion—he connects them. His methods have resulted in numerous marriages, he said, including those of well-known couples.
“I’ll never tell who they are, even now, because that’s their business,” he said. “If they want to tell, they can do so, but I keep it discreet always.”
Mohabbat said that by getting to know the individuals himself, there are no pretenses, and he can therefore get a more accurate picture of who matches with whom. He looks at not only their interests and activities, but also their views on career, children, and whether or not they’d be willing to relocate for their match. Looks aren’t as important as who would really have a better life together, he said, because in marriage looks aren’t the most lasting aspect.
“Marriage is a lifetime commitment,” he explained. “You change during your life. You gain weight, you could get in a car accident and have your face scarred, what do you do: Throw you spouse away and get another?”
Unfortunately, many people these days don’t really understand what it means to love, he noted. Mohabbat tries to explain this idea to his clients and makes sure the couples he matches understand this as well.
“Your kids love you and think you are the prettiest mom in the world, not because you are a Hollywood movie star, but because they feel the love,” he said. “You’d die for them, and they feel that. That’s love.”
Arts Editor Shelly Cone is waiting for the Broadway musical of Mohabbat’s life story. Contact her at scone@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Mar 8-15, 2012.