Looks like the Santa Maria City Council doesn’t care about anything but money and oil. Yes, folks, this week I finally get to rail like a true liberal snowflake environmentalist!! So strap those adult britches on, North Santa Barbara County residents, and get ready.
On March 19, the City Council symbolically voted to support ExxonMobil’s plan to restart what City Manager Jason “Oil Pusher Man” Stilwell called “critical local oil and gas operations” in a staff report. Critical? Umm. Hey guys? I’m not trying to be hyper critical or anything, but that sounds a little oil company public relations-y.
The plan would involve temporarily trucking crude oil through Santa Barbara County along the steadfast Highway 101—which, incidentally, would be nothing new, as oil trucks are definitely already carrying crude along our highways and byways whether we like it or not. This is due to the Plains All American Pipeline not holding up its end of the safety regulations that enabled it to operate pipeline 901. This “critical” pipeline was allowed to rust away until it sprang a giant leak, spilled a bunch of oil all over the Goleta coastline, and shut down the primary method of transportation for offshore oil.
Then this really weird thing happened, and City Council members voted to support a project without seeing any documentation on what adding a bunch of oil trucks to local roads would do. No environmental impact report (EIR), just some dollar signs and minimal discussion.
City Councilmember Gloria “I’m Flying Solo Over Here” Soto is the only one who said she couldn’t vote to support the project without seeing an EIR. When city staff were asked about when an EIR might be released, all they could do was stare back and blink their eyes like deer caught in headlights. Way to do your homework guys!
Not to worry! Santa Maria was built on oil and will drown in oil if this City Council has anything to do about it! And when it runs out—and it will run out—in 50 years, everyone except for Soto will probably be dead.
Mayor Alice “Captain Obvious” Patino simply said, “EIRs take forever.”
Thanks for that hot take, Patino. EIRs may take forever, but they do put risks and rewards into perspective. Meanwhile, the ever-present Joe “I Always Give My Two Cents” Armendariz from the Santa Barbara County Taxpayers Association (the organization that wrote the resolution City Council members voted on) weighed in via a letter to the City Council, calling Goleta City Council’s symbolic decision to not support the project “shortsighted.” Wrong! Goleta definitely took the long view.
And I’m trying not to be a hypocrite here—Goleta didn’t have an EIR, either (geez guys, you’ve got to have all the facts before making a symbolic decision).
But really, if I was Goleta, (EIR or no EIR) I wouldn’t want oil anywhere near me because I’ve already dealt with the consequences of what oil production can bring. An oil spill! Yay! Well, that and the economic slump that came afterward because no tourists want to visit oil-covered beaches and the fishery that took a long time to recover from its fresh petroleum coating.
The Canary always puts in two cents, too. Send your thoughts to canary@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Mar 28 – Apr 4, 2019.
