This is the last time. I promise.
It has to be.
All of my readers who are sick-near-unto-death of me writing about A.B. 65 can be assured that I won’t be writing about it anymore after today. That’s because the state Assembly finally—finally!—agreed that everyone, whether married or single, deserves to be treated the same if they’ve been raped.
Yes, it’s more complicated than that. But I’ve written about this umpteen-and-one times, so you should know the drill by now: Before this bill came around, it was a felony to rape someone by posing as their spouse, but only a misdemeanor to do so if posing as any other partner—boyfriend, lifelong companion, etc.
That may sound like a far-fetched scenario, but, sadly, it isn’t. The right—or wrong—mix of conditions can create a situation in which a scummy guy uses the cloak of darkness and a victim’s sleepiness or otherwise altered state to convince her that, yeah, he’s the man she’s been sleeping with. This was obviously enough of a problem to have a law on the books that came down hard on such perpetrators—as long as their victims thought they were married to the attacker.
Just dating? Sorry. It wasn’t as big a deal if somebody violated your trust and your body.
The loophole in California law essentially indicated that women in committed but non-married relationships weren’t worth as much as wives.
But no longer!
On Aug. 19, Assemblymember Katcho Achadjian saw the effort he’s long been working on finally take shape. Anyone who impersonates someone’s partner—boyfriend or husband or whatever—can face felony rape charges.
Loophole closed.
Probably.
This bill now has to go to the governor’s desk, but I can’t envision a scenario in which Jerry Brown won’t sign it. I won’t.
This law is going to be finalized and on the books, and I won’t have to—yes have to—write about it anymore.
But that doesn’t mean any of us should stop thinking about it. The only reason legal loopholes like this stupid one exist for so long is because nobody has the wherewithal to talk about the subject, let alone change anything. The only people talking about rape can’t be the rape victims and survivors and the few sympathetic locals and politicians. It’s not pretty, but rape—or, to be more specific, stopping rape—should be a part of the American conversation.
That means no more victim shaming, no more making excuses for guys who argue that a lack of a “no” is the same as consent, no more attributing an assault to a low-cut top or one too many beers or winking at the wrong time.
Teach women how to avoid getting raped, yes, but please, please teach men to avoid raping. And emphasize that rape is rape, no matter how you try to weasel out of it with wordplay. If she won’t sleep with you unless it’s 3 a.m., she’s a little buzzed, and you’re masquerading as her boyfriend, you’re not going for consensual sex. You’re going for rape, and you are a rapist. Plain and simple.
So don’t be. Don’t be a rapist. Don’t be a rape apologist. Don’t be someone who’s content to let legal loopholes allow a rape to be something that gets a slap on the wrist (and even, I shudder to write, a pat on the back). Don’t be someone who’s casual about rape. Certainly don’t be someone who jokes about rape.
Just. Don’t. Rape.
There. I think I got that out of my system. For now. And though I promise (with my wingtips only slightly crossed behind my back) that this will be my last column focusing on AB 65, I certainly won’t promise to never write about rape again. Because it’s too important a topic. I’ll harp on it because others are staying silent. Or are even loudly voicing support for the other side.
But for now, for today, I’m celebrating a victory and moving on.
What am I moving on to? Good question.
Canary is looking forward to a new page in life. Send comments or ideas to canary@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Aug 22-29, 2013.
