So Buellton is all in a buzz about a sign. A digital sign. A big, flashy, billboard-sort- of sign to promote the city.
The sign itself has become a major wedge of contention between the current City Council candidates, who have until November to convince locals who to vote for, and why, and what that vote will mean for the future.
Some of the candidates are for this sign, some are against it, and some seem to be happy to just sort of tiptoe around the idea of it, but one thing is for sure: No one can ignore the 40-foot elephant-type thingy stomping its way through the campaign. Actually—40 feet tall? That’s bigger than any elephant I’ve ever met.
But I don’t care. I’m not here today to talk about whether or not Buellton should be able to put up a big billboard in a county that has made a point of slowly but surely taking a stance against big billboards—working to eliminate all billboards, in fact—over the years.
No, I’d like to lead everyone today in a mental exercise. A jaunt of the imagination.
First, a little background, minus some of the details. I’m summing up:
Last year, the Buellton City Council unanimously voted to give a new billboard the green light. The billboard itself might have green lights on it. I’m not totally sure, but I hear that, as proposed, it’s pretty flashy.
Obviously, I’m glossing over all of the really good reasons the council had for sort of re-grandfathering in a new huge piece of advertising, but don’t worry about it. Because here’s my question:
If the Chumash had approached local leaders with the idea of putting up a shiny, giant digital billboard—even one to replace a hypothetical other, older billboard they were losing through no fault of their own—how do you think the request would have been received? Now, I’m not talking about an answer from Buellton City Council, specifically. I’m talking about in general.
Because I don’t know about you, but I didn’t know a thing about this real-world sign issue until I heard one of my fellow Sun staffers making calls on it for his news story. My ears caught just a few words at first—I think “Vegas” was among them—and I, of course, thought it had something to do with the local casino.
Look, I will absolutely admit that this is apples to oranges here. If and when the Chumash have a proposal for anything and everything, it tends to settle uncomfortably in front of the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors—a different body, I know, than the Buellton City Council.
But I did say that this column was going to be a jaunt into imagination. So imagine with me that the group doing the billboard asking is the local Chumash tribe, and that the group they’re asking is the Board of Supervisors.
Do you think locals there—and I’m talking Buellton, Solvang, Santa Ynez, and the like—would have kept this a local issue? Or would everyone from Santa Barbara to Nipomo have heard about how out of character and absolutely inappropriate and probably sneaky in some way this billboard would be for Southern and Northern Santa Barbara County?
Keep in mind that this billboard would be standing alongside Highway 101, right there where everybody with a car and a pair of eyes—or even one eye, come to think of it—can see it. Has to see it.
If you’re imagining this scenario as playing out any way besides the debate becoming at least a countywide argument packed with escalating rhetoric, your imagination is busted. You should probably do some imagination exercises. Here: Picture me not as a little yellow bird alternately pecking at a keyboard and sifting through a dish of millet and sunflower seeds for some choice tidbits. Instead, imagine me as a human journalist hunched in front of a laptop, face lit by the glow from the monitor, 10 fingers tapping away in a coffee-fueled blur.
Weird, huh?
Look, I’m not trying to throw combative gasoline onto a fire that I kindled myself out of what-ifs, but I can’t help but look at the Chumash-heavy region of this county and wonder when the tensions there are going to ease. Short of a miracle, I can’t see something like that happening any time soon.
And by soon, I mean within my lifetime.
But maybe I just don’t have a very good imagination.
The Canary is all about the bright lights. Send comments or tips to canary@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Sep 25 – Oct 2, 2014.