The question most often asked during the holidays when gifts are exchanged is, “What did you get?” Much less frequently asked is, “What did you give?” Invariably, the inquiries regard material gifts. Purchasing a gift certainly can be a thoughtful, wonderful gesture, especially when it’s reinforced by other actions.
But the most valuable presents are not sold in stores. When you give your love, your time, help someone in need, aid another person in solving a problem or overcoming an obstacle, you give something priceless. The true spirit of the holidays is giving. When you give, you receive. You can get what you need in return for helping others get what they want, but only if you give without expecting anything in return. And the result of giving isn’t limited to just the holiday season; it has rewards all year.
The power of giving is often underestimated. When you give unconditionally, you don’t just impact the recipient; you start a chain reaction. By brightening the life of one person, you also affect all those they touch.
No gift, no act of kindness is too small. Holding the door open at a store, helping someone carry groceries to his or her car, letting another driver merge in front of you, saying please and thank you, and saying hello to a stranger you pass on the sidewalk are some of the many things that can improve life daily.
Your time is one of the most precious gifts you can offer to your family and friends. Are you there for others when they need you? Do you offer a helping hand without being asked? Do you help when asked?
Far too often, people get caught up in their own desires, losing sight of the needs of others. Someone who tries to get through life by looking out for his or her own self first is always frustrated. Such a person may view life as a competition toward who can accumulate more.
In contrast, people who are concerned about the well-being of others are generally happy, content, and satisfied. By giving without expecting anything, they in turn receive the things they need.
Giving is a simple concept that works every time it is applied. Though some people may not appreciate what you do, that does not deter you. You are giving without anticipating anything in return. Besides, there will be many more recipients who will be thankful for your efforts.
If you mistreat people, buying a gift won’t compensate for your behavior. The recipient might like what you give them, but it won’t make up for your actions. You can’t bribe someone with a present and expect they will forgive the way you treated them.
The best gift you can receive is the joy of making someone happy: Being unselfish is the only way to really live. When you give without ulterior motives, your actions are genuine, but if you expect something in return, your behavior will always be suspect. We all know people who do nice things only when they want something in return.
Make giving a daily routine. Don’t start and end with the holiday season. Every day is a good day to do something for the benefit of others. When people feel good due to your actions, you can only feel happy yourself. That is priceless. The most important actions you can take are those that have a positive impact on other people.
Bryan Golden is the author of the book, Dare to Live Without Limits. Send comments via the opinion editor at econnolly@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Dec 8-15, 2011.