Is there a way to have a civilized discussion about excrement and urine?
The city of Solvang attempted it—but giggles ruled the day. Because you can’t talk about bodily functions with turning into a child.
Apparently, it’s legal in that city to do your business in a public space because there aren’t any rules in place preventing it. But city staff and elected officials are setting out to rectify that (see what I almost did there?).
The whole conversation came about because City Manager Randy Murphy said a sheriff’s deputy came across a pile of nasty business just hanging around for all to see. Naturally, he started looking into things.
“I don’t think ‘number one’ was the issue here,” he told the Solvang City Council on May 11, prompting laughter. “That came to my attention, and I promptly notified our city attorney that we needed to get this code on the books.”
Councilmember Mark Infanti said he’s heard of people peeing near the edges of local parking lots during big events, but “it’s always just been kind of a joke.” Mayor David Brown joked that future festival hosts should think about giving out complimentary adult diapers. Um, porta-potties would be good, too—that way people can go number two in the loo.
“I think this is a no-brainer,” he said, motioning for the council to adopt the ordinance.
“Can I be number two?” Councilmember Louise Smith said before seconding his motion.
That was a good one! I guess they all needed something to laugh at after all the shop talk about Brown’s Solvang Passport app, which could put public bathrooms on its little treasure map. Perhaps free toilet paper could be part of the deal?
Don’t worry, people. Your opportunity to potty in public won’t go away in Solvang until the end of June at the earliest. They still need to have a second reading of the potty policy before it gets officially adopted.
I’ll tell you who’s number two: Joe Holland.
Santa Barbara County Clerk-Recorder-Assessor Holland has exactly zero fans on the Board of Supervisors, which has let the public know if there’s one thing that bridges partisan divide, it’s endorsing the person who’s running against Holland for the seat.
Exactly all of the supervisors support Holland’s current Deputy Clerk-Recorder-Assessor Melinda Greene—even contrarian Coalition of Labor, Agriculture, and Business Executive Director Andy Caldwell hopped on the Greene machine. He endorsed her as part of his official list posted on Facebook.
I’m not sure why anyone would look to Caldwell to guide their votes, but that’s a topic for another day.
Speaking of Facebook, the Elections Division run by Holland has finally decided to use social media as a way to get information out to the public! A little late to the party, don’t you think?
How has the division been getting the word out about elections during this super divisive uncertain political time where fraud allegations abound and there are concerns about voter intimidation at the polls?
Um, it hasn’t.
The SLO County Clerk-Recorder’s Office has had its own accounts for years, but Holland’s office has to borrow the official Santa Barbara County Facebook and Instagram feeds to get some sort of word out. That change was pushed by county supervisors—not Holland.
The Canary already went number two. Send toilet paper to canary@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in May 14 – May 21, 2026.