Oh man! Just when I thought I was getting used to global terrorism and environmental catastrophe, there is something else to worry about. Something you get from someone you love or who loves you. Zoonoses (a name a marketer would die for) is the latest scourge I can get from my pets. My immune system has been weakened by the unconditional love of my two mini schnauzers, Zem and Zoe.

Ask anyone and they will tell you I am completely ā€œwhippedā€ by these two characters. I have been the willing participant with them in just about every type of bodily function one would find in a human child. They are human, aren’t they? Yes, I’ve been tongued a few times, sneezed on, and even bitten a few times during play. I lived another day.

Yes, I’ll say it! They sleep with us. You might find Zoe at dawn curled under my armpit. We share each others’ environment. I personally groom and bathe them weekly, and they have the best of vet care. Of course they don’t appreciate it—we exist for them. Surprisingly enough, I don’t live in fear. A sign hangs in our kitchen: ā€œThe more I get to know people, the more I like my dogs.ā€

I am an Army vet, married to a redheaded Dutch girl, ride a Harley at high speeds, drink single malt scotch, and am coming to grips with my mortality. All in all, I’ll take my chances with my dogs.

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