In case you thought I had turned into a cockatiel and finally found my way into the Santa Barbara County Jail cell I deserve, I just want to clear the air. It definitely wasn’t me.
That being said, the person who took over for Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Office Public Information Officer Kelly Hoover is having oh so much fun with puns. They’re probably just twitterpated pink over a press release they sent out on Aug. 19. A domestic cockatiel showed up at the Main Jail—“Likely an escapee from its home, the bird somehow found its way into sherrif’s custody,” Lt. Erik Raney wrote in the release. “Staff took in the ‘jail bird’ and provided food and shelter.”
Not enough crime in the county to keep you busy, Raney?
Just a quick note: The SLO Tribune also thought it was fun enough to hop on the pun wagon. “How did pet bird end up at Santa Barbara jail? He’s not a stool pigeon and he isn’t singing,” The Trib’s web headline read.
The lead? “An unlikely fugitive was found at the back of the Santa Barbara County Jail on Monday: a domestic cockatiel. The literal jail bird seems to have flown far from its home.”
Good one Katelyn Leslie! Aug. 19 must have been a slow news day. Ready, set, clickbait?
Meanwhile, Lompoc is actually going to talk about a potential ballot measure for a sales tax increase on Aug. 22. I’m not going to count my canaries yet, but the fact that the city is willing to discuss it could be a good sign that a new source of revenue could hatch for Lompoc—and possibly save it from the impending financial disaster also known as pension obligation. I hope City Councilmember Jim “Read My Lips” Mosby doesn’t get a hernia over it.
I’d also like to give a big shout out to U.S. Rep. Salud Carbajal campaign dude Ben Romo for being such a good sport about last week’s column! He sent me a lovely little letter telling me how funny I am—which I simply just fluttered over. He also defended himself, saying he is well aware about what term the Congressman is in—his second—and that he either was misheard or possibly misspoke (he really doesn’t think it was that second one).
Honestly, sometimes people say one thing when they really mean another. We once had an elected official chastise one of our reporters because she swore up and down that she didn’t say something at a meeting that we quoted her as saying.
Turns out, she did. The meeting was recorded. But she wanted us to run a correction because it wasn’t what she meant to say. My word, people.
Words are muy importante. And for that, I must admit, I said that Ben was new to the Central Coast when all I meant was that he was acting like it. Ben’s been around for years.
I’m not sure what Ben said because I wasn’t there, but the Sun heard what it heard, and so the Canary must tweet! I do believe that Ben understands this, and for that, he deserves a feather-tipped salute and a nod of the beak. Keep on doing you, Ben, my twiggy friend.
The Canary loves to sing. Send your thoughts to canary@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Aug 22-29, 2019.