Ah, the holiday season is here, filled with song, the hurry-scurry of gift buying and menu planning, family and friends gathering, the glow of expectation on little faces as they gaze at gifts piled under a tree or near a menorah. Holiday colors light up the street, store windows, and most living rooms—green and red, blue and white, silver and gold. But for some, there is only one holiday color: blue. And then there’s the music.
Leave it to the King to come up with the worst holiday song ever! No, I am not referring to the King of Kings, whose birth is celebrated by Christians on Christmas day, nor do I mean one of those wise guys who used the first GPS system ever—a bright star—to find him. No, I mean Elvis Presley. “I’ll have a blue Christmas without you.” Oh, please, if you are alone this year, turn that thing off! I love Elvis as much as the next baby boomer, but that holiday song has got to go. There is nothing festive about it, especially for those who really are having a tough time during this season of good cheer. For some, good cheer just means another double Scotch.
We’ve all experienced holiday blues: dumped on Christmas Day by someone you love (been there), alone in a new place (done that), or losing a loved one (wore black far too often). It’s this time of year that’s the toughest because we’re either looking wistfully back into that bright store window of holiday joy we once knew or we want to smash that damned window because the holidays were always a time of stress, angst, and unhappiness. And you thought Scrooge needed help—humbug!
Everyone copes with the seasonal blues in their own way, but too many cope alone, and you don’t need to do that. Allow me, as my gift, to offer a few ideas that may help some of you feel a little less blue through the holidays.
First, turn off that damned Elvis song! Music often brings up memories, good or bad, and holiday music can be very depressing for some. Turn it off, I say, unless you truly love it. Turn on something you really like, whether jazz, reggae, heavy metal, or Big Band swing. Just stay away from the blues and country tunes for a while.
If you must buy gifts, shop online. Whatever you do, stay out of the malls and the department stores. They’re playing holiday songs all day, and there are shoppers wearing Santa hats and singing along! This may inspire other similarly spirited people (and Roger Corman), but doesn’t help dispel holiday blues.
Let there be light. Holiday décor is another blues bringer, but don’t skip it altogether. I did that one sad Christmas, and it made it much worse as I looked across the street at the lit trees in my neighbors’ windows. Bring in a wreath, a colorful bow, and some scented candles, or string some clear lights across the mantle or around the living room window. Turn them on and relax with a good book or movie.
Speaking of movies, skip those holiday tear-jerkers. Watch something funny, suspenseful, or historical. Tivo your shows so you can scan past those annoying holiday commercials or rent a fave film or one you’ve wanted to watch. Pop some corn, pour yourself a cold beverage, wrap up in your favorite “Snuggie,” and enjoy. Even better, invite a friend or a few to enjoy it with you.
Eat right and exercise. Don’t let holiday depression keep you down. Prepare healthy meals (a big pot of homemade soup or chili is easy and a timesaver). Make your favorite foods, but watch the calories. It’s easy to sit and mope while stuffing holiday Oreos in your face—voice of experience here! Added pounds can mean added blues. Stay active, offer to walk your neighbors’ dog while they’re away, or work out to your favorite DVD.
Hydrate, but don’t “liquidate.” Drink lots of water, tea, chicken soup, or juice—but not alcohol! The winter weather can dehydrate you, making you tired and even ill. Drink plenty of fluids, and you’ll feel better, plus your skin will look good! But getting into the holiday spirit doesn’t mean swilling spiked eggnog or cider. Alcohol depresses the mind and body, so stay out of the bars and don’t drive your cars if you’ve been imbibing.
Count your blessings and then do something. Sometimes we get blue because we’ve too much time on our hands and use it to obsess about what’s depressing us. If this is the case, get off your duff and find something to do. There are several places that need your help and many people who are in worse straits than you. Look around town, check with your local church or temple, or look up volunteer groups in the Sun’s calendar to find ways to share your time. You might even make new friends. Here are a few to get you started.
The local Humane Societies and even the pounds need help walking dogs, petting cats, feeding animals, and cleaning up. Staffing is limited due to budget restraints and the rewards are unlimited. Call the Santa Maria Valley Humane Society at 349-3435, Woods Humane Society in SLO at 543-9316, or your local Animal Services to help out.
The assisted care facilities and nursing homes are filled with people who have no visitors, and this time of year is especially sad for them. Go visit and offer to read to someone. One gentleman was thrilled when I read aloud the results of a game from the sports section.
Temple Beth David in SLO is holding two dinners for the homeless this month (one a holiday dinner, the other a regular monthly dinner). They need help preparing it, as well as serving it, and you need not be a member or Jewish. There’s no religious status required to be a volunteer. Call the synagogue at 544-0780 to help.
There are many more homeless people this year, and that means more children without a Hanukkah or Christmas gift. There are Angel trees at various locations, including the lobby of Arroyo Grande Community Hospital. The ornaments contain wishes made by less advantaged children. Secretly making a wish come true is one of the warmest feelings I know. Local fire departments are also collecting for Toys for Tots. Buy a new toy or game and bring it (unwrapped) to your local fire station.
As you can see, there are many ways to fend off the holiday blues, but the most important is to talk with someone. Tell a friend, a trusted co-worker, a minister or rabbi, or a family member that you’re alone or need to talk.
And if you’re one of the above, for God’s sake, listen! Any E.R. nurse or doctor will tell you suicides run high during this time of year. So stop for a minute and extend yourself to that person who reaches out to you. It took a lot of courage for them to speak up, and they need you. Nothing you are doing—shopping, baking, wrapping, etc.—is more important at that moment than making time for another person who just needs to talk. Look around you: That lonely person may be living next door or across the street. Pick up the phone, knock on a door, drop off a note. One day it could be you, so reach out to others. After all, isn’t that what the holiday spirit is really about?
I wish for each of you, my readers, a warm and loving Hanukkah, Christmas, and winter solstice. Whatever you celebrate, I celebrate you and hope your new year is filled with good health, caring, and joy.
Ariel Waterman has had her share of blue Christmas pity parties. She now enjoys shopping with her grandson for Toys for Tots. Send holiday greetings (she’ll be delighted to respond) via her editor, Ryan Miller, at rmiller@santamariatimes.com.
This article appears in Dec 17-24, 2009.