For some of us—that would be me—the annual Santa Maria Valley Humane Society 4-Legged Affair fashion show, held this year on May 25 at the Elks Club, was a one-legged affair.
Guess who now breezes through her day—slowly—with a medical device?
I recently took the fall of my life, injured a leg, and now can sally forth only with the aid of a walker—full body pressure on one leg and a teensy-tiny bit of pressure on the injured limb.
“Hobnobbing at the Hospital” could well have been the new title of my column.
But “Captain Midnight,” the orthopedic surgeon who was on call for Marian’s Emergency Room that fateful day, fixed
me up.
I call it my Cinderella surgery, because for that lady things changed at the stroke of 12. My surgery took place at midnight, so I shall forever think of Doctor X by the name of a 1930s-’40s comic book hero who rushed in and tied up trouble before the clock struck.
I am happy to report that my room at Marian could not have been nicer. My nurses could not have been more cheerful or more responsive. One nurse told me that I could ninja myself out of this mess. I don’t know what that means, but I loved the upbeat sound of it.
Not to worry, Capt. Midnight. I am not going to try anything funny, ninja-wise.
I am also happy to report that Arroyo Grande Rehab is a nice place for people who are in a bad place. “Miracles occur here every day,” said one of the ever-positive physical therapists on staff. This fellow said that people come to rehab in far worse shape than I was in, and bit by bit, inch by inch, they’re able to resume normal physical activities.
We want to hear that kind of sunshine news when we are in limbo.
Rehab taught me to gauge how much pressure I can exert on the injured leg, how to maneuver certain tricky situations like steps and stoops, and how to fend for myself at home.
At rehab, every five minutes I was asking someone, “Will I live?” and “Will I ever again be able to move my inert leg that feels like a ton of lead?”
This blanket anxiety and need for continual reassurance diminished as the injured leg began to rebound from surgery and I felt less and less pain.
Of course, everyone knows that e-mail withdrawal is the worse part of hospitalization. I could not connect with the outside world via computer, and I missed the daily and hourly checking for e-mail. I am, truth be told, an e-mail addict.
And they tell me, for that there is no cure.
Now to report on the main event.
The Humane Society held its immensely popular annual fundraiser, “The 4-Legged Affair,” on Sat., May 25, at the Elks Club.
Fashions were from JC Penney. Chicken dinner came from the Elks. Some of the models (the ones on leashes) were from the Santa Maria Valley Humane Society facility.
More than 340 people bought tickets.
I was happy to share a table with John and Cyndy Ross, models Liz Addamo and daughter Skyler, as well as Altrusa’s Sally Czarnecki and Diane Aleman-Stevens, and SMVHS board member Wanda McDonald and husband Jim Hopkins.
If you want to Hobnob with Helen, you may contact her at helenthom232@yahoo.com.
This article appears in May 30 – Jun 6, 2013.