Aaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh!! Aaaaaagh!!!
Intermittent screams pierced the soft buzz of dinner conversation.
The screamer—Lady Sherringham (Georgia Shore)—stole down the curved staircase, away from the clutches of her possibly wicked attendant, Nurse Maude (Pat Haley) and her physician, Dr. Anna Freud (Nancy Amidon), to frighten the dinner “guests” by brandishing a knife.
A very large knife, I might add.
The diners, having just finished a delicate salad and starting in on superbly prepared prime rib, mashed potatoes, and broccoli, were taken aback and—well, scared silly is more like it—by the machinations of this deranged creature in clouds of feathers and chiffon.
Were it not for the Addamo wines that soothed our jangled nerves, we might all have been truly rattled.
Then—was it before or after the cheesecake and tiramisu?—the sous chef (Liz Addamo) charged in, wielding—oh my gosh!—another knife.
Amid this mayhem, the cheeky chef, Francois Vichyssoise (Ryan Miller) brandished his knife until he got a grip and calmed us by singing five songs in a fractured Franco-Italian accent.
Such whimsy and charm from a man who waved his cooking blade in the air like a Napoleonic soldier charging into Waterloo. We have to forgive him his temperamental transgressions, unless, of course, he was responsible for A Death in Tuscany.
I know you are dying to know where all this transpired.
It was during the 1920s (Saturday evening, Oct. 21, actually) at the Addamo Vineyards Tuscan villa on Clark Road.
Rotary Club South commissioned playwright Diane Balay to concoct a continental confection of crime. The Rotary South Players presented A Death in Tuscany at a dinner party (tickets were $90).
Balay’s cast included the usual suspects: phony European royalty, real European royalty, showgirls, philandering husbands, philandering wives, nurses and doctors with dubious agendas, ego-crazed chefs, and, oh yes, the obligatory butler (played superbly by David Bixby).
“Guests” were invited to dress as notables from the 1920s. Judy Sanders was a very fetching Mary Pickford, with husband Douglas Fairbanks (aka Fred Sanders).
Marla Ziemba (Gertrude Ederle), Virginia Souza (Ann Morrow Lindbergh), and Maria Cravy (Mae West) were among those who dressed for the occasion. Marge McIntire came as Lady de Beers of South Africa.
I myself was the immensely wealthy Lord Carnarvon, who funded the King Tut expeditions. There are those who would ask why His Lordship wore pink lipstick and silver hoop earrings.
At dinner, it was my pleasure to sit near Paul and Lola Moe and Jim
Ventriglia with daughter Britt and her fiancé Ian Meyer. They were there for the performance of Roxanne Ventriglia, who played a lady looking for a big spender.
The play was put on, one act at a time, between courses. Jay Conners, dressed as golfer Bobby Jones, was all smiles when his wife, Rotary South president Victoria Conners, was on stage as Princess Anastasia.
Jane Kokkinakis, Libby Kelly, Bob McIntire, Bob Ogden, Jeff Kuster, and Robert Byrne rounded out the cast.
In the event this play is put on again, by popular demand, I won’t spoil your pleasure by revealing the names of the victim and murderer.
That it was tragic, is all I can say.
If you want to hobnob with Helen, you may contact her at helenthom232@yahoo.com.
This article appears in Nov 3-9, 2011.