Santa Maria residents have been arguing about whether to house temporary guest farmworkers in town since at least 2015—and they still haven’t figured anything out. Last year, the city hosted a series of workshops to try to explain the federal H-2A program. Farmers and agricultural industry representatives have said that it’s a necessity. So, in […]
Canary
Posted inOpinion
Raids ‘R’ Us
Cannabis is so confusing. Not because I’m high or anything. I’m not, I swear. I just use a little bit of CBD ointment on my right wing sometimes because it gets sore—and I definitely don’t inhale. I was driving up to Grover Beach to buy my muscle relaxation potion from 805 Beach Breaks until almost […]
Posted inOpinion
Truck it in
Looks like the Santa Maria City Council doesn’t care about anything but money and oil. Yes, folks, this week I finally get to rail like a true liberal snowflake environmentalist!! So strap those adult britches on, North Santa Barbara County residents, and get ready. On March 19, the City Council symbolically voted to support ExxonMobil’s […]
Posted inOpinion
Puppy-gate 2019
Before I get into all of the drama associated with Animal Kingdom Pet Shop—yes, once again, that little shop at the Santa Maria Town Center Mall with cute little puppies in its windows is in the doghouse—I must get one thing off my small, shapely, feathered chest. Who pays $2,000 for a freakin’ puppy? Seriously. […]
Posted inOpinion
Bird’s eye
My fair-weathered feathered friends are looking forward to their trips north along the Pacific Flyway. They can hit the Central Coast with a glance toward the ocean and settle into coastal marshes and sand-framed freshwater lakes with abandon! The only freshwater lake in the dunes complex that anyone really cares about. Oso Flaco Lake. And […]
Posted inOpinion
Man your battle stations
The age of the Great Energy Fight is upon us and the battle lines are definitely drawn. Global warming and environmental disasters are on one side. Meeting energy needs and stimulating the economy are on the other. Protests were in full force over Plains All American Pipeline scoping hearings in Santa Barbara and Arroyo Grande […]
Posted inOpinion
Green machine
Santa Barbara County is feeling so fresh and so green, green. So fresh and so green, green. And the reason why is about $3.1 million from a fresh new revenue stream! That particular emerald goose is supposed to add at least another $2.4 million before the end of the 2018-19 fiscal year. With all this […]
Posted inOpinion
Technically, a win
Well, well, well. Looks like a little bird stuck its tiny talon in its teeny beak. It’s time for a reckoning! Only it wasn’t the one-legged barn owl from next door. It was me! Remember back in January, when I was making fun of those Santa Ynez Valley citizen groups who keep suing the Santa […]
Posted inOpinion
Chickens in, humans out
Well Lompoc, you finally did it. Chickens are officially allowed to be man’s best friend within city limits. It only took you three years to figure it out. Chickens have been hip since, like, at least 2015. Even Lompoc City Councilmember Victor Vega knows how hip they are: “This has been a pretty […]
Posted inOpinion
Trolling for oil
If you could invite one guest to the State of the Union address to make a political statement, who would it be? A DACA Dreamer? A Lompoc Federal Correctional Institution employee who was forced to work without pay? How about someone who served at the U.S. Coast Guard Station in Morro Bay? Let’s face it, […]
Posted inOpinion
Payday
I just got the first press release I’ve had from the Los Padres National Forest since before Christmas! Why does that matter? Well, I’m glad you asked. It means that—drum roll please—the United States of America is back, baby! The federal government is no longer partially shut down! For at least three weeks, possibly longer, […]
Posted inOpinion
Well, guys. You did it. You really did it.
Santa Maria had its first ever Women’s March on Jan. 22, joining the closest liberal hubs to the north and south—Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo—in marching for strength, unity, equality, and choice. Against oppression, misogyny, and the Great Trumpty Dumpty who doesn’t have his own wall to fall off of yet, but he’s working […]
