Love it or hate it, we’re living in an age of instant communication—about everything. And as the Arab Spring and the Occupy movement have taught us, the mini-blog/social networking site Twitter is playing a part in changing the world, 140 characters at a time.
While Twitter catches a lot of flack (some of it deservedly so) as an avenue for the self-absorbed to share the most mundane of daily minutiae, when used correctly, it can be a powerful tool. Through the medium, fans can connect with celebrities, comedians, and athletes in ways never before possible. For us average folk, it can make the larger-than-life characters we see only on TV seem human, and can, for better or worse, provide unfettered access into the personalities of our favorite stars, minus the PR sheen.
If you’re not on Twitter yet, what are you waiting for? But if you are, here are a few athletes worth a follow:
10. Paul Bissonette, Phoenix Coyotes (@BizNasty2point0)
One of the more interesting characters in the NHL, seldom-used Coyotes’ defenseman Paul Bissonette regularly tweets his blunt observations about life and hockey, littering his timeline with self-deprecating jokes about his lack of ice time. With the ongoing NHL lockout threatening to cancel the upcoming season, there ought to be plenty of fodder for more hilarity to come.
Example: “Am I the only person who leans out their car window to give the thumbs down to drivers that have other NHL team’s logos on their car?”
9. Logan Morrison, Miami Marlins (@LoMoMarlins)
A self-proclaimed “Twittaholic,” the Marlins’ Logan Morrison is one player who’s embraced Twitter as a way to make a name for himself off the field. Never far from controversy (many of Morrison’s tweets are NSFW), the outspoken leftfielder is often witty and always entertaining.
Example: “Whenever I Google a girl I know, I always put the word “naked” after their name. Just in case…”
8. Chris Kluwe, Minnesota Vikings (@ChrisWarcraft)
Refreshingly opinionated, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe is a prolific tweeter, recently drawing attention for his vocal support of gay marriage and critical views on replacement NFL referees. As you might gather from his handle, Kluwe is also a bit of a nerd, but he balances out the gamer talk with sharp social commentary and humor.
Example: “Today’s quest – travel to an enclosed arena and retrieve a jaguar pelt. Potential Quest Reward [6.25% exp to next level and gold reward]”
7. Shaquille O’Neal, retired NBA star (@SHAQ)
In retirement, the charismatic former L.A. Lakers center (now NBA commentator) Shaquille O’Neal is keeping connected with his many fans through Twitter. As busy as Shaq still is these days, he isn’t above having an entertaining exchange with followers or giving the occasional lucky user a retweet.
Example: “The thing that counts most in the pursuit of happiness is choosing the right companion. That’s why I chose your mother. Aha made u laugh.”
6. Arian Foster, Houston Texans (@ArianFoster)
Thoughtful, spiritual, and with random offbeat quotables thrown in for good measure, Texans running back Arian Foster is a must-follow on Twitter. A true world traveler, Foster peppers his timeline with the varied insights gained on his journeys, both inner and outer.
Example: “People say I can’t be a vegan. But all Mario ate was flowers and mushrooms and look how big & strong he was. Plus he could spit fireballs.”
5. Chad Johnson, NFL free agent (@ochocinco)
Former NFL wide receiver Chad Johnson has never shied away from speaking his mind, and he certainly doesn’t disappoint his close to 4 million followers. Johnson’s timeline is stocked with jokes and funny exchanges he has with fans and other NFL players. Honest with his postings, he’s openly tweeted about his release by the Miami Dolphins, as well as his recent messy divorce.
Example: “COP: Do u know how fast u were going? ME: I was trying to keep up with traffic. COP: There is no traffic. ME: That’s how far behind I am.”
4. Steve Nash, Los Angeles Lakers (@SteveNash)
One of the NBA’s great thinkers, new L.A. Lakers point guard Steve Nash uses Twitter to share his point of view on social issues and take fans behind the scenes during the NBA season. Nash is as candid as they come, offering his views on subjects such as soccer and Canadians, with a bit of humor thrown in to boot.
Example: “Taking the Suns training staff out tonight. The last stand. If you see us in a white limo apologies in advance. Let’s effing hoop.”
3. Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants (@BrianWilson38)
A Twitter aficionado, quirky Giants’ closer Brian Wilson provides his followers with a entrée into his carefree philosophy, and the results are just about what you would expect. Known for his epic beard, Wilson also has a pretty epic sense of humor, as evidenced by a glimpse at his timeline.
Example: “Surgery was perfect. Borrowed ligament from my ol’ pal Sasquatch. Only side effects: hairy arm and I talk like a wookie.”
2. Rich Ornberger, Arizona Cardinals (@Ohrnberger)
Probably the least-known athlete to appear on this list, the Cardinals’ Rich Ornberger is also one of the funniest. A master of the medium, Ohrnberger’s not afraid to tweet his blue material and show off a bizarre wit that only a backup offensive lineman could have.
Example: “Today, the body language of the parents outside taught me that 26 is an unacceptable age to chase after the ice cream truck half dressed.”
1. Brandon McCarthy, Oakland Athletics (@BMcCarthy32)
It’s rare for a person to pull off being both athletically gifted and legitimately funny, but somehow Oakland A’s pitcher Brandon McCarthy does it. He counts many standup comedians as his Twitter pals and holds his own in the humor department. And talk about dedication; when McCarthy underwent emergency brain surgery after being hit in the head with a line drive earlier this month, he was on Twitter within hours, cracking jokes about the incident.
Example: “WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS.”
So, those are my top 10 sports-related tweeters—all guaranteed to entertain or inspire. But what do I know? I’m just a bum. And that’s my view from the bleachers.
The Bleacher Bum welcomes your Top-10 lists. Tweet them to @jthomasSMS or email jthomas@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Sep 27 – Oct 4, 2012.