When Los Angeles Lakers’ forward Ron Artest announced in June he had filed a petition in L.A. Superior Court to legally change his name to “Metta World Peace,” basketball fans everywhere snickered.
Wasn’t this the same guy who leaped into the stands to beat a Detroit Pistons’ fan who’d thrown a cup of soda at him during 2004’s epic “Malice at the Palace” basketbrawl? The same guy who’s had run-ins his whole career with players and coaches, was convicted of domestic abuse, and has the reputation as one of the sporting world’s biggest hotheads? Now, he wants to be the poster boy for peace! Oh that crazy Artest, what will he do next?
“When fans get mad at me,” Artest explained to the L.A. Times, “they can’t say, ‘I hate World Peace.’”
Well, you can’t argue with that logic. It’s the human equivalent of a corporation “rebranding” to distance itself from past controversy or an otherwise tarnished image, like when Blackwater becomes Xe Services, Philip Morris morphs into Altria, or Greka Oil & Gas transforms into whatever it is they’re calling themselves these days.
Applying this line of thinking, if the change helps rehab Artest’s image, perhaps Michael Vick should consider switching his moniker to “Must Love Dogs.” Hey, is this thing on?
The paperwork for Artest’s name swap is currently being reviewed, and if approved, Mr. Peace (or would it be Mr. World Peace?) certainly wouldn’t be the first athlete to reinvent himself with a few strokes of a pen. From Cassius Clay becoming Muhammad Ali to Lew Alcindor becoming Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Artest is merely the latest in a long-standing sports tradition.
Like Ali and Abdul-Jabbar, some name changes have been the result of religious conversions, and surely caused mass confusion at the Topps’ factory. University of Oregon wide receiver Bobby Moore became Ahmad Rashad after being drafted into the NFL and converting to Islam. For the same reason, in 1991, former Denver Nuggets’ sharpshooter Chris Jackson changed his name to Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, followed a few years later by UCLA running back Sharmon Shah, who became Karim Abdul-Jabbar (no relation to the aforementioned Lakers center).
Other switcheroos have been just plain strange. Take former NBA star Lloyd Bernard Free for example. Free reportedly earned the nickname “World” during his high school days for his 44-inch vertical leap and stunning, acrobatic slam dunks. Free was one of the league’s top scorers in the late 1970s, and he gained notoriety for his flamboyant style on and off the court. In 1981, Free went all out, legally changing his first name to “World.” Get it? World B. Free? It’s hard to not feel all warm and fuzzy— groovy even—when you say it.
On the flip side, there’s Rod Smart, an undrafted running back who failed to make the San Diego Chargers using his given name. When he signed with the Las Vegas Outlaws of the blink-and-you-missed-it XFL, Smart adopted the nickname “He Hate Me.” In keeping with its stripper-esque cheerleaders, explosions, and no-holds-barred approach to presenting football, the XFL allowed “He Hate Me” to appear on the back of Smart’s jersey, and the previously unknown back emerged as the league’s most recognizable player.
“It is what it is. It’s a saying I was saying when I’d feel something wasn’t going my way,” Smart told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel in 2001. “I feel as if everyone hates me, from my mom to my dad and even my brothers and sisters, everyone ‘Hates Me.’”
Not quite as cheery as Free’s tale.
While Smart never officially took the plunge in a court of law and made the name permanent, “He Hate Me” became more popular than “Rod Smart” ever could’ve been. Unfortunately, when Smart joined the NFL’s Carolina Panthers, the league’s party poopers forced him to stick with his real name, thereby draining him of his power. Smart no longer plays professional football, and there’s no word if his haters ever stopped hating.
Speaking of haters, one player the NFL has always seemed to have it in for was once known simply as Chad Johnson. The Cincinnati Bengals’ perennial Pro Bowl wide receiver and showboat extraordinaire took a nickname he gave himself all the way to the end zone, legally becoming “Chad Ochocinco” in August of 2008.
The new surname was derived from his jersey number, 85, though why he went for the Spanish language version of “eight five” as opposed to “eighty-five” is anyone’s guess. It must’ve rolled better off the tongue, because Ochocinco has turned the name into a worldwide franchise, with his own website (ochocinco.com), an autobiography titled Ocho Cinco: What Football and Life Have Thrown My Way, and a even a breakfast cereal called, yep, “Ocho Cinco’s.”
Unfortunately, Ochocinco’s fling with pseudonyms may be history soon. He’s stated in recent interviews that he’s done with the “Ocho thing” and will be going back to plain old “Chad Johnson.” Hopefully, if there is any silver lining to the NFL lockout, more players will be coming up with new names for themselves. They’ve got to spend their extended downtime doing something productive, right?
For some athletes, taking on a new name just makes good business sense. “Tiger” Woods certainly carries more pizzazz than Eldrick—the embattled golfer’s nerdish given first name. To take it a step further, English professional snooker champion Jimmy White once changed his name to “Jimmy Brown” for a tournament in 2005, to honor the color of HP Sauce, his major sponsor. And you thought you loved steak sauce.
Researching famous sports name changes raises some interesting questions. Would Sugar Ray Robinson have been considered one of the greatest boxers of all time if he’d fought under his given name, Walker Smith, Jr.? Would Hulk Hogan have been as intimidating between the ropes if he’d wrestled in the WWF as Terry Bollea? Would Charles Atlas have been as synonymous with bodybuilding had he stuck with Angelo Siciloano? And, in a parallel universe, would Edison Arantes do Nascimento have become the soccer sensation Pelé was?
Maybe, but something tells me they wouldn’t have. Names have power, and I’m pretty sure I just read that in a book somewhere.
But what do I know? I’m just a bum. And that’s my view from the bleachers.
The Bleacher Bum is considering changing his name to Larry Bulwark, or just Jeff. Contact him at jthomas@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Jul 21-28, 2011.
