After five damn minutes of staring at my computer screen waiting for writing inspiration, I’ve decided February is a sucky month for writing sports columns, partly because my interest in sports is relegated to baseball and football.
Alas, football has ended and baseball season is on its way. Shockingly, I’ve run out of one specific thing to complain about. But today is your lucky day, sports fans, because I am going to take you on a tour of the five random “sports related” thoughts that have been flying around my head as of late.
The 2017 Super Bowl
• I’ll be honest: I didn’t even really watch the Super Bowl game this year. I found more entertainment socializing with friends, and imbibing far too much for a Sunday (which made Monday morning extra special). Also, as a Packers fan, I was admittedly a little bitter against both teams—the Falcons, because they knocked my team out of the running. How I feel about the Patriots, their coach (who always looks like someone just kicked his dog), and their quarterback is not news. For one thing, I am tired of watching Mr. GQ Brady and the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Next chapter please. Also, Brady is a talented quarterback—I would be an idiot to deny that. BUT STOP SAYING HE IS THE BEST. He is ONE of the many talented quarterbacks the NFL has seen and will continue to see. Brady already puts himself on a pedestal every time he wakes up in the morning, he doesn’t need help from the fans or media screaming about how great he is.
• The commercial lineup this year was interesting and subtly political with the usual “Support Our Troops” undertones all over the place. However, as a daughter of a dad with a prosthetic leg, I was glad to see commercials highlighting this population of people. They are doing amazing things in spite of unexpected anatomical challenges. But I really cannot wrap my head around the Mr. Clean commercial … what the hell was that? It’s like Mr. Clean hit the gym and discovered Viagra. I remember watching it with what I’m sure was an expression between “what the hell” and feeling like I was watching a housewife soft porno. I mean, was that commercial supposed to seduce me into wanting to clean my house with Mr. Clean? Unless John Hamm or Hugh Jackman are going to jump out of that bottle, then the commercial didn’t work.
• Say what you want, but Gaga KILLED the halftime performance—in a good way. And while she wasn’t overtly political … you could read between the lines of her song lineup if you had half a brain. “This Land is my Land” and “Born this Way” were two of my personal favorites and accurately reflected the political issues being addressed at this time.
• Maybe I’ve harped on this one before, but I am happy to reiterate my thoughts on this. First of all, if you use a waist trainer, did you do the research? And that doesn’t mean looking at Wikipedia or “hourglassangel.com” (that’s really a website by the way). Also, relying on the Kardashian brand of waist training twits doesn’t count either. Check out some valid sites like Mayo Clinic, Marie Claire magazine, Livestrong Organization, Women’s Health Magazine, even Dr. Oz for god’s sake. Waist training, bottom line, is unsafe and unproven to give results. I do not understand it. As a woman, obviously I would like a definitive difference between my waist, hips, and bust, but at some point I have to accept that my rib cage is not going to change sizes, just like women who wore corsets couldn’t change the size of their rib cages either. If you want a smaller more defined waist, eat right, work your core, sit up straight, drink water, and breathe deep. Waist training is archaic and, quite honestly, I think it’s a sign of laziness and borderline denial about your body shape. Not everyone will have a small waist and that’s OK! I personally think your organs and intestines being in the correct place and functioning properly is more important, but what do I know?
Body shaming at the gym
• Yes, body shaming. Again. Last column I was too irritated and fired up to mention that this trend goes beyond professional athletes to even local gyms. I have seen people in the gym, even trainers, make fun of clients who are larger as they work out. I’ve seen posts about it online where people make memes or cruel jokes. Most of the time, the people saying these things are ugly-ass men I wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole whether I was fat or fit, so why they think they have room to throw stones is beyond me. But it’s cruel and just plain stupid. These people are there for a reason, they’re trying and they’re putting in the work. Everyone has to start somewhere! So instead of making fun of others like a coward through your “smart” device, why don’t you put down the phone and get to work yourself?
Baseball season
• Yay! Something happy! Baseball season is coming—this means baseball games, barbecues, hot weather, and one of America’s longest standing traditions. I just wish we could get through a baseball season without 5,000 trades. Arguably that is one aspect of the sport I don’t like because you’re unable to develop any consistency as a team. I get attached to certain players and then they’re traded away. But I guess that’s the almighty dollar for you.
Macros and micros
• There’s a fitness trend that has taken off in the last couple of years. From what I can gather, it’s a way to track the major and minor nutrients you need to absorb through food. I humbly understand that keeping track of food intake—the timing and how much—greatly affects the results you see in your body. But at some point, I feel that this tracking process isn’t realistic to uphold or maintain for the everyday person. If you’re competing or want to have a highly defined physique, then I can understand why you track micros and macros. But for someone like me, I like to eat healthfully 80 percent of the time and then be human the rest of the time. Plus, it all sounds like it involves too much math to figure out. For me, keeping it simple and balanced is better.
How many of you are still reading? I wagered that most would stop after my comments on the Super Bowl. But there you have it—five of my most random sports thoughts. I may not know much, but I know I’m the Benchwarmer who loves to be feisty.
Sports columnist Kristina Sewell has plenty more to complain about. Tell her your thoughts via Managing Editor Joe Payne at jpayne@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Feb 16-23, 2017.
