While military vehicles parked outside alert visitors to the National Guard Armory’s intended purpose, a different sort of army prepares for battle inside. Eager for battle, they circle a smooth, concrete track—on roller skates.
The sights and sounds of flat-track roller derby arrived at the Santa Maria Fairpark for the first time in February, in the form of the independent Santa Maria Ruff Rollerz. They’re the brainchild of tattooed Tiffany “Tiffer Tantrum” McIllwain, who moved to the Santa Maria area from Bakersfield. With three years’ experience as a tough-as-nails blocker for various California teams, Tantrum didn’t want to travel to Paso Robles or Santa Barbara to keep playing, so she started the league. Problem solved.
And the public has responded. In just a few short months, the Rollerz have grown from three to 27 members. E-mails and messages on the league’s Facebook and web pages pour in daily, Tantrum said.
“It’s gotten really big overnight,” she said. “For me, it’s overwhelming, but it’s awesome, too, because it’s my heart and my passion.”
Though it reached its height of popularity in the 1970s, roller derby has experienced a revival in recent years, due in large part to a public thirst for all things retro, as well as documentaries, television shows, and Hollywood films like Whip It, which prominently featured the spectacle.
There are currently several professional roller derby leagues scattered throughout California, with teams from San Diego to Eureka. But derby thrives primarily as an underground D.I.Y. venture.
It’s often labeled “sports entertainment,” as opposed to a pure sport. Call derby what you will—just don’t call it “fake,” Tantrum said. She should know; she’s still nursing a broken leg she suffered while playing for an Orange County team in November.
“It’s not like it used to be where the outcome was predetermined,” she said. “You can’t hit each other like you used to, but the injuries are still the same. Everything’s real.”
The Ruff Rollerz come from all different walks of life, from paralegals to stay-at-home moms, and range in age from 21 to 48. Like snowflakes, no nickname in derby is the same, and much of the sport’s punk attitude is reflected in the team members’ monikers.
There’s Short E. Stompher, Sharon D. Pain, Crissy Creeper, and Madam Nuclear Winter, to name a few. Besides Tantrum, none had any derby experience before joining the team. Going through the birthing process of a new league has been a learning experience for Ruff Rollerz head coach and co-founder, Eh-Hole.
“There’s not a strategy, we just play it by ear,” he said. “We see what happens in one jam and change it up for the next jam. That’s all you can do.”
Briefly, derby bouts are divided into 30 two-minute “jams” in which each derby squad gets a chance to make its way around the oval and pile up the points. Play is five-on-five, with four blockers of each team battling for position. The blockers are allowed to jostle and knock each other down, but elbows are forbidden.
“Jammers,” wearing helmets adorned with a star, are typically the fastest and most agile skaters on the team. As play starts, the jammers start behind the blockers, then they race to make their way past the blockers and lap them, scoring a point for each opponent they lap. The jammer who gets through first is the “lead jammer.” She has the ability to call off jams before the two minutes are up, out of fatigue or strategically, to keep the other team from scoring.
If the jammer laps everyone, including the other team’s jammer, she registers a grand slam, worth an extra point.
Ivey Impossible, one of the Ruff Rollerz’s three jammers, and the team’s leading scorer, has only five months of derby experience to her name. She hadn’t even skated on “quads”—also known as traditional roller skates—before joining the team.
“I didn’t really know about the sport. I didn’t know the rules or anything like that,” she said. “I joined, and then I went to see Whip It and thought it was something I’d like to do. From there, it just evolved, and I love it.”
Not all skaters are quite ready for primetime. The Ruff Rollerz have a “Fresh Meat” squad, teaching girls as young as 9 years old the ins and outs of skating and braking. It’s the first step to making the team. The new recruits must spend at least six weeks as “Fresh Meat” and pass an assessment test before they move over to the derby track. Girls must be at least 18 to make the traveling team.
“It’s not as hard as it looks,” Impossible said. “If you don’t know how to skate, we’ll teach you. I know some people who say they want to and they flake out. I wasn’t so sure, but I came. Once you see us skate, then it makes you want to do it.”
Hard-hitting Dolly Thrasher is a nurse from Lompoc and a blocker who lives up to her nickname. She’s played through bone bruises and knee injuries and hasn’t missed a practice.
“When we come out and skate, we really get to be who we are. We get to dress it up and have fun,” Thrasher said. “A lot of girls think, ‘I can’t do that,’ but once you’re out there, you’re a superhero. It’s crazy.
“It’s so entertaining,” she explained. “Guys sit at home and watch football and drink beer, but we’re out here and we get to go home with the bruises, and they’re like, wow you’re really doing something.”
Thrasher said she’s grateful to have a local derby team with so much public support.
So far, against much more seasoned competition, the Ruff Rollerz are playing better than any of the coaches expected, especially given Tiffer Tantrum’s injury limitations.
“I’ve had to kind of teach them off of my skates, but in all actuality, for me not being out there with them, they’ve learned a lot,” Tantrum said. “They’re putting their heart in it and they’re doing really well.”
The Ruff Rollerz came up short in their debut against the Derby Knockouts of Ventura on
Feb. 6, losing 61-48, and bowed to the V-Town Derby Dames in Visalia on Feb. 20. The team next plays host to the Inland Empire Derby Divas on Mar. 13, part of an upcoming schedule that will see the Rollerz carpool to such far-reaching climes as San Diego and Reno, Nev.
Like their coach, who expects to return to action by April, the rest of the Ruff Rollerz are anxious to get their show on the road and continue to improve.
Tantrum plans to continue expanding the league, eventually fielding both a home and a traveling team. She said she hopes the public will continue to be surprised by the value of a night at the derby track.
“It’s family entertainment for all ages. The kids love it,” she said with a smile. “My expectations and goals are really high, and it’s just getting bigger. I can just see it continuing to grow.”
Staff Writer Jeremy Thomas would call himself Sarah M. Palin. Contact him at jthomas
@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Feb 25 – Mar 4, 2010.
