Thank you for allowing me this space to thank morticians who honor our former military at their burial.
I do especially appreciate those of you who make the time to have the casket covered with the stars of the flag over the head of the veteran and those of you who put the folded flag on the casket after the pallbearers bring it to its resting place.
I’m sorry to say that recently I did witness, after a hearse was driven to a San Luis Obispo County cemetery, two men stepping out to open the back door—no flag draping the casket. That would have been fine. What they did, I would like them know wasn’t acceptable! The two men acted as though they were going to cover the casket, then, realizing there wasn’t enough room to get around, they bunched up the flag and put it to the side. After the pallbearers carried the casket to its resting place, the two men did drape the bunched up flag over the casket and did anchor it.
Three choices are acceptable: The flag can be draped and anchored before leaving the cemetery, with stars over the head of the veteran, or the folded flag can be placed on the casket after the pallbearers carry the casket to its resting place. It is also acceptable to unfold the flag at the gravesite, then drape that flag over the veteran’s casket, with stars over the head.
When a folded flag is on a casket, the pair there to do the folding ceremony knows to unfold with respect, then refold.
When a family has the folded flag in a case and wants the full ceremony, it is customary to unfold an American flag and refold it to present to the family. A family member usually returns the flag that was folded back to the volunteer who presented that flag.
A little etiquette please: When a woman in high heels or using a cane is trying to traverse uneven ground, as well as the covered wood around a casket, you do offer her assistance—and by and by, even for a man. That person will accept or not. At least you offered.
The two men were not intentionally showing disrespect to the American flag, I’m sure. Now they know the three acceptable choices. When honor guard actually starts, it is a solemn service.
This article appears in Jul 24-31, 2008.
