The NFL draft annoys me, I find it quite dumb. Phew, I finally said it.
Before I continue, let me preface this by saying my future brother-in-law is a HUGE football fan, albeit a Cowboys fan but we won’t bother with that today. He loves football, he has played football, and he has coached a lot of football. Opening day and draft day are as big as Christmas for him. He has an appreciation and understanding for the game that makes it easy and enjoyable for him to sit through the endless NFL draft bonanza.
I, however, lack that capacity and I think a majority of Americans are starting to feel the same. Don’t get me wrong sports fans, I love me some pigskin, but the draft? No thank you, “ain’t nobody got time for that.”
If you’re looking for wanna-be celebritites who are strutting down the red carpet and being treated like celebrities, if you want to hear overly enthusiastic reporters ask mundane questions, if you want to hear these future football stars respond to said questions with answers that make you question how they ever made it through college in the first place, then look no further than the NFL draft.
This whole red carpet obsession we have in America, from the Oscars to the Grammys to the damn NFL draft, is stupid. It’s a chance for a bunch of glorified narcissists to parade down the carpet looking for future sponsorships and any kind of attention—good or bad.
Somehow, the NFL has made this whole draft thing into an annual event that occupies ESPN’s channel for a seemingly endless amount of time. Why are we so entertained by watching people make phone calls to young men, asking them to play for obscene amounts of money?
Because it’s an event that most of us hate-watch. And the NFL will continue to make this a big deal because they make ridiculous amounts of money from this event alone. I mean come on—what about the guys, prancing down the red carpet carrying football hats in glass cases? It’s like they think they are participating in some sacred ritual when in reality, they are puppets in a giant concocted event merely designed to increase viewership and business at the local Applebee’s.
Personally, I don’t want to watch a bunch of young, mostly ignorant, and barely educated young men get phone calls asking them to come make a bunch of money. Congratulations to all you young men living in non-reality where formal job interviews happen on the phone. It must be nice.
The kind of attention these young men get at the draft is only setting them up for failure. They walk onto the red carpet fully aware that all eyes are on them for the 15-second “look at me moment.” They know that they have the full attention of an entertainment-addicted nation. Many of them walk into Radio City Music Hall knowing that they are going to come out with a hefty contract, an unhealthy sense of stardom, and little to no collegiate education to help them make responsible decisions with their behavior, their lives, or their money. But hey, the NFL makes its cut and they get their 15 pathetic seconds of fame, so what’s the big deal?
The big deal is that the NFL is turning football into a year-round soap opera/reality show complete with domestic violence, drug use, shootings, car accidents, dog fighting, and a red carpet. And we, as a nation of sports fans, idolize this shit. And again, I will toot my feminist horn and say that NO FEMALE SPORT receives this kind of attention.
God forbid we televise college graduations or debates, which require some amount of intelligence. God forbid we televise and idolize those signing up to join our armed forces and protect our country. The NFL draft to me ranks right up there with the Winchester dog show as the most asinine entertainment ever.
But what do I know? I’m just a Benchwarmer and an NFL draft hater.
Kristina Sewell can be reached through the editor at scone@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in May 26 – Jun 2, 2016.