Santa Maria Civic Theatre es da rektplas forest ein epsomlootely baloontiful, zoopa mit noodle prodooctshun, Ein Twilightsparkle mid David Ives. Nintendo ein poultry di Ivesā blizzardo linkwa.

Do not attempt to adjust your Sun. That introduction was simply written in Unamunda, a language used in Universal Language, one of six short plays that comprise Santa Maria Civic Theatreās An Evening with David Ives. But more on that later.
First … who the heck is David Ives? Heās an acclaimed playwright who specializes in a very distinctive brand of comedy with emphasis on wordplay and inventive scenarios.
The set is abstract, consisting of several blank walls lit with colored light, but some distinctive scenery and props are brought onstage for each play.
The evening opens with Arabian Night (directed by Zaira Dynia Valdovinos). As written, itās probably the weakest of the six selections, but itās still intriguing and worth a few laughs. Somewhere in the Middle East, tourist Norman (Cliff Buck) is led into a shop by a local (Jeff Zahn), who will act as a translator with the shopkeeper, Flora (Angela Hutt-Chamberlin). We hear Flora speaking in English, but itās made clear that she and Norman canāt understand each other. The translator manipulates the pair by turning their mundane discussion of souvenirs into something more romantic and adventurous. Or sometimes, he just says something totally wackyāi.e. whenever someone says āwell …ā he translates it as āa deep hole in the ground.ā (Groan.) Zahn has a good sense of mischief, and by the end, Norman and Flora really seem to be falling under his spell.
The next piece, Words, Words, Words (also directed by Valdovinos) is based on an old adage: āThree monkeys typing into infinity will eventually produce Hamlet.ā Three chimps (rather than actual monkeys) hammer away at antique typewriters while an unseen scientist observes them. They know theyāre supposed to produce Hamletābut they donāt know what Hamlet is. The piece gets into some metaphorical territory about being a working writer. Milton (Samuel Martin) is all too happy to produce ācopyā for the powers that be as long as rewards are tossed into the cage, Swift (Kassie Thiel) is bitter and resentful, and Kafka (Sydney Asencio) seems content just to hammer a single button on her typewriter. The actors convince us of their charactersā species with comic chest pounding and tire swinging. Perhaps most impressively, Asencio eats a banana … with her feet.

Both Arabian Night and Words end rather abruptly. (Murmurs of āwas that the end?ā were heard at the reviewed production.) The subsequent plays feel much more whole.
In Universal Language (directed by Johannes S. Beals), Dawn (Kelly Greenup), a shy woman who speaks with a stutter, comes to learn a new language called Unamunda from instructor Don (Stuart Wenger). The ālanguageā consists of mangled English, words from various other languages, and pop culture references. The word for āEnglishā in Unamunda is āJohnclease,ā as in John Cleese of the English TV series Monty Pythonās Flying Circusāa show that almost certainly inspired this playwright. The word for despair, meanwhile, is ādesperantoāālikely a reference to real-life would-be universal language Esperanto. Both performers master the almost Jerry Lewis-like ramblings of Unamunda. Needless to say, you have to have a stomach for silliness in order to appreciate some of Ivesā work. But the playwright is a romantic at heart, and, as tenderly played by the two actors, the end of the piece is quite touching.
Act Two begins with Time Flies (directed by Bob Larsen), about a pair of mayflies sharing a romantic evening by a moonlit puddle of stagnant water. Both wearing thick-rimmed glasses adorned with glow-stick antennae, Asencio and Josh Cornell are very sweet together. You root for these two insects to hook up. They decide to watch televisionābecause yes, they have one, and a TV Guide to bootāand tune into a nature program narrated by David Attenborough (Samuel Martin) that just happens to be about them. Turns out the ālowly mayflyā lives only a single day. This piece shows Ivesā ability to be both silly and serious at the same timeādealing with rapidly approaching death, the most grave of topicsāwhile also giving us bug puns and cuckoo clock noises.
In The Philadelphia (directed by Stuart Wenger, pulling double duty) Al meets his friend Mark for lunch and complains that everything has gone wrong that day. Mark explains Al is in āa Philadelphiaā, and thus he canāt have anything he asks for. āBut Iām in New York!ā Al protests. Ah, Mark explains, Alās physically in New York, but heās metaphysically in Philly. Zahnās exasperation is uproarious. Wearing sunglasses and a loud orange Hawaiian shirt, Buck captures the laid-back, flippant attitude of someone enjoying a āLos Angeles.ā And the experience of being in a Philadelphia is driven home by Maureen Staunton as the no-nonsense waitress who says, āWeāre all out of that!ā

The show closes with Sure Thing (directed by Beals). A man (Cornell again) and woman (Hutt-Chamberlin again) meet in a cafe. Whenever one of them says the wrong thing, or the conversation reaches a dead end, a bell rings and they begin again. For example, when they broach the touchy subject of politics: āMan: Iām a straight down the ticket Republican. (Ding!) Straight down the ticket Democrat. (Ding!) Can I tell you something about politics? (Ding!) I like to think of myself as a child of the universe. (Ding!) Iām unaffiliated. Woman: Iām unaffiliated, too!ā Itās a unique twist on the romantic comedy, exploring the myriad ways a couple could not get together. It really says something about the fragility of human connections. And itās a laugh riot, too.
Although the plays have different directors, the evening comes together nicely as a whole, united by the common themes and tone of Ivesā plays.Ā
Freelancer Brent Parker once hired a monkey to write Hamlet, but he got The Tempest instead. Contact him via scone@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in May 5-12, 2011.

