It’s 5 p.m. and you just got off work. You wish it was Friday but it’s not. This week just keeps on freaking going. And you know you should go to the gym and then go home and make dinner and maaaybe cap off the night with a glass of red wine and an episode of Friends, but that’s not what you truly want.

What you want is a drink. You want it right now. And you want it for cheap.
If you relate to these sentiments on a semi-regular basis, you’ve come to the right place: Here, I’ve got your guide to happy hours in and around Santa Maria. You’re welcome.
The Original Roadhouse Grill
This place has got to be Santa Maria’s go-to for happy hour. You’ll catch it from 2 to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday and 2 to 6 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday.
We’ll start with the drinks: You won’t have to spend more than $5. Domestic draft beers go for $3, house drafts for $4, and premium drafts for $5. Or if you’re not feeling like a beer, opt for a $3 glass of wine or well cocktail, or a 16-ounce margarita for $3.50.
So you’ve blown through the happy hour menu and you’re nice and drunk but now you want food. Don’t budge. You’re still in the right place.
Roadhouse Grill’s $5 bites menu applies during happy hour and it’s got you covered, no matter what you’re craving: a quarter-pound cheeseburger with fries? Done. Egg rolls? Wings? They’ve got it. A salad? You’re a weenie. But yes, they have that, too.
Still, if for whatever reason the Roadhouse Grill just isn’t your bag, we’ve got other options.
Rooney’s Irish Pub
Saw that one comin’, didn’t ya? Yeah, Rooney’s is pretty cool, and their “hoppy hour” is even cooler.
You can catch the specials all day on Monday, from 3 to 6 p.m. and 9 to 10 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday, and from 9 to 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday. And you won’t shell out more than $7 for any food item on their happy hour list, which includes fries, sliders, tacos, wings, nachos, corn dogs, and hummus.

You know how kids like to say they have a special “dessert stomach” that doesn’t get full with normal food? I feel like as you get older, “dessert stomach” becomes “drink stomach.” So if you’ve had your fill of sliders and hummus (or whatever the hell you ordered off the happy hour food menu) and you still NEED A DRINK RIGHT NOW, you’re in luck.
Happy hour drink specials at Rooney’s include well cocktails for $5, featured cocktails for $6, house wines for $5, and house brews for $3. Well-priced, tasty, and with an Irish vibe to boot. (In full disclosure, I have a bit of a bias toward all things Irish.)
Olde English Tap Room
[image-3]
If you’re seeking atmosphere and quality, here it is. The Tap Room is located at the Santa Maria Inn, and it’s all about that dim lighting and old-English ambience. Yelpers seem generally impressed with the food and cocktail options offered at the Tap Room, and its advantage over other venues is the live music—though since the Tap Room features everything from blues to Motown to Celtic music (bagpipes included), you might want to check the entertainment schedule before showing up.
That said, you can catch the Tap Room’s happy hour from 4 to 6 p.m. Monday through Friday.
All right. Now that I’ve been a horrible influence on your post-work routine, go forth and drink more things—for less money!
Brenna Swanston used this week’s column as an excuse to have a pint in the middle of her workday. Scold her at bswanston@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Jun 16-23, 2016.

