I’m 23 years old (soon to be 24, I shudder) with a bachelor of arts degree in English. I graduated with honors; I’m hardworking, mature, and responsible. Despite all this, I sleep on a twin bed with my parents as housemates and work two part-time jobs along with babysitting and house cleaning on the side.
Ah, to be a 20-something college graduate.
The last two years have been a grueling and confusing ride that has shattered all my previous plans and left me asking: “Where did I go wrong?” Like most everyone else my age, I did everything I was told to do: I went to college and got my degree, yet here I am.
Sometimes, as I lie on my matchbox of a bed, I think back to college when I had this set plan of how life was going to go post-graduation. In my perfect world, I would have moved back home until I could find a full-time job, at which point I’d move out, get a new car, and become a responsible adult like I had worked so hard to do.
Unfortunately, an unstable economy and a sky-high unemployment rate threw a wrench in all my plans. Such is the reality of being a college graduate these days. Yet we trudge on, taking up jobs that have nothing to do with our degrees and are likely minimum wage. Living in this reality of uncertainty and self-doubt, in addition to nearly driving me insane, has taught me some valuable lessons; it all comes down to what I call the three P’s: perception, power, and perseverance.
First, however overrated the saying may be, perception really is everything. Take my situation: Two years after graduation, I am still living at home, I have to carpool with my mom, and I’m more confused than ever about where my life is going. Depending on how you look at it, you could say that my situation is pretty shitty.
But that’s the key—it’s all how you look at it. I spent the first year under the impression that I was a failure of epic proportions. Drowning in a myriad negative emotions, I thought my life was hopeless.
Somewhere along the way, my perception shifted out of the dark and into the light. Whether it’s because I’m Irish and stubborn or a Capricorn and determined, I suddenly realized that spending all my time and energy bemoaning my situation was not going to help change anything.
At that point, perception became everything to me. I learned that if you view your life situation with a negative mindset, you’re never going to be anything but disappointed and lost in this cruel world. Suddenly, living at home now means you’re the world’s biggest loser. But flip it around and get with the program—you’re not alone in the whole unsexy thing of living at home with your parents. Change your mindset and think of your living situation as a temporary stepping stone to the success you want to achieve. See? Not so bad.
I also threw the whole I am a “failure of epic proportions” thing out the window, too. I didn’t fail. Nor did the rest of my 20-something companions; we did everything we were told to do. The inevitable and intangible “system” failed us.
The second lesson is that you don’t have to be a superhero to have power; it’s a gift we have all been given. Ultimately, you are the one with the power to change your situation—it is up to you to make the changes you want to see. You have the power to take something negative and transform it into something positive. Although it may sound transcendental or weird, the power is in you; just train your mind to focus on the positive potential around you.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, is that in order to survive these tumultuous 20-something years, fellow members of my generation need one thing: perseverance. The reality is that life threw us a curveball, and halfway through the game we have to readjust strategies, but that’s no reason to just give up.
Sitting around, complaining about your living arrangements, financial woes, and generally dragging everyone else down with your endless pity-party won’t get you a full-time job or an apartment.
Perseverance will; it’s the ability to adapt to adversity and muster the strength to wade through the obstacles. Perseverance is waking up every day with a goal in mind, something to work toward. You want a full-time job? Then explore new opportunities, find something you’re passionate about. Don’t want to be broke? Then do what everyone else is doing and get a job anywhere you can make money; nothing is beneath you, and you’re not the only educated and over-qualified 20-something taking up a job as a barista.
But more than anything, our generation needs perseverance to keep our heads above water and fight toward our individual goals. In order to carry on, we have to believe in ourselves and the power we have to change our situation. We are not the only fish that have had to shift directions midstream; in truth, it’s almost a rite of passage to be a struggling college graduate. Take comfort in knowing that there’s always light at the end of the mythical tunnel; I haven’t found it yet, but I know it’s there.
Life can be unfair, and reality is often harsher than the fantasies in our heads, but as Grandma always said, “Put your big girl britches on and deal with it.” If you don’t like your situation, take the steps necessary to take your life where you want it to go. Wishing for money and full-time employment won’t get you anything but disappointment.
The 20-somethings who will succeed are the ones who make the necessary sacrifices for success, the ones who believe there’s hope and power in hard work. So take a deep breath and utilize the three P’s: perception, power, and perseverance. Think about what it is you want and figure out what you need to do to make it happen. Wake up every day knowing what you’re working for, and be content knowing that through your hard work, you will eventually reach your destination. Fact: No one said the hard work and dedication stops after college; life is a marathon, not a sprint.
Until that day comes when you land a full-time job, be grateful to your parents and that they’re in a position to help you out. Enjoy free rent, being young, and having the time to explore new opportunities—and most importantly, home-cooked food.
Change your perception. Persevere.
Staff Writer Kristina Sewell is making it happen. Contact her at ksewell@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Dec 13-20, 2012.
