To honor the memory of her son, Connie Branquinho recently placed a $100 personalized cross on his gravesite at the Santa Maria Cemetery, but it disappeared.
He passed away from an accidental fentanyl overdose in May 2021, and it’s not the first time items have disappeared from the family’s gravesites. Branquinho’s father—a war veteran—is also buried there. An American flag disappeared from her father’s site too, presumably thrown away, she said.
But when the cross bearing her son’s name and face was removed, the issue had gone over the line for her, she said.
“I had a lot of problems with things disappearing; I thought it was the public, but it’s not the public, it’s [the manager],” Branquinho said.
The Santa Maria Cemetery is a special district, independent from city and county governments, with its own board of trustees that decides the cemetery’s management and regulations. In June 2021—one month after Branquinho’s son passed away—the board hired Ron Jacobs as its new district manager. Branquinho said Jacobs doesn’t work well with those who are grieving, and she claimed that he targets certain families’ gravesites and removes items from them, not touching similar items on other sites.
“He is unbelievable. I’m a very easygoing person and cannot believe his attitude or demeanor. You have no idea when you lose a child what you go through, and to [work with] him was my worst nightmare,” she said. “He makes us feel like we’re out partying, but we are just trying to take care of our mothers, fathers, grandmas, grandpas, loved ones. It actually breaks my heart to see someone so uncaring in that position.”
Determined to make a change, she wrote a letter to the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors asking for action.
“Since June, the Santa Maria Cemetery has become unwelcoming and downright hostile to grieving families. This change coincides with Ron [Jacobs] being on the board. Ron is rude and disrespectful,” Branquinho wrote. “He says things like ‘you people.’ He accuses families that come to visit their loved ones after 5 p.m. as ‘drug addicts.’ … He refuses to listen to people, instead he walks away, tells us he can do what he wants to do.”
Jacobs declined to comment, and referred the Sun to members of the board of trustees who could speak on the issue.
More families have reported grievances since Branquinho wrote the letter, she said. Fifth District Supervisor Steve Lavagnino said he received the letter along with several other complaints—the most he’s received in his 12 years as a supervisor.
“I don’t want everyone at the cemetery painted with a broad brush that they are the problem,” he said. “The cemetery as a whole has an expansion program going on and a lot of good things; unfortunately, there are some problems, and the last six months it’s just turned into a big problem.”
The biggest problems, he said, have to do with communication. People don’t necessarily understand the rules and regulations at the cemetery, and the enforcement of those regulations hasn’t been as empathetic or respectful as it should be, Lavagnino said.
“That’s the No. 1 job at a cemetery—to make them feel better. We have to enforce these rules, but it’s like an officer where they have to know how to diffuse the situation,” he said.
Lavagnino said that all he can do is pass the complaints along to the cemetery’s board.
“The Board of Supervisors oversees the appointment of the trustees, and there’s five trustees. Their terms all end at the end of 2022, and they are responsible for the overseeing of the cemetery. They hire the general manager and staff who report to the trustees when there are issues,” he explained.
A group of grieving parents and family members approached the trustees during the cemetery district’s March 14 meeting to discuss their issues with the gravesite rules and regulations as well as the management, and to advocate for needed updates, said group member Nicole Moreno.
Santa Maria Cemetery District rules and regulations require any markers or monuments to be installed by the superintendent; all flowers to be kept within the cement border of the headstone; no jars, glass, balloons, stakes, fences, or solar lights be placed on the gravesite; and all dead flowers and paper trimmings be discarded in trash bins, according to the cemetery’s website.
Moreno’s son passed away in a car crash in April 2021, and she has left mementos on her son’s gravesite, including rocks painted with the words “believe,” “faith,” and “one day at a time.” They, too, disappeared, even though she said they were within the regulations.
“I don’t want to be stressed when I go visit my son. I expect to be at peace; I go there for comfort,” Moreno said. “I honestly feel like these rules have gone almost ancient. I just want to be able to put rocks on my son’s headstone.”
She took her concerns to the March meeting where she said the district only gave attendees three to five minutes total to speak during public comment. Moreno noted that the trustees did not respond to concerns during the meeting. As a result, Moreno said she added herself to the next meeting’s agenda on April 11 in the hope of being able to have more of a dialogue and—hopefully—see some change.
Board Chair Lee Diaz said that the board’s working with Lavagnino to host a community meeting at the end of April to alleviate confusion regarding the regulations and acknowledged the complaints about cemetery district manager Jacobs’ behavior.
“We talked to our manager, and he denied these allegations. There’s been strange things dealing with him,” Diaz said. “As trustees, we don’t like to hear complaints. He may have a little trouble working with people, [but] he’s trying. He’s new at it and only been on for seven months.”
The board hasn’t taken any disciplinary action against Jacobs, but he is “trying to improve,” Diaz said. Potential policy updates are also on the horizon, including notifying visitors prior to removing items from a gravesite.
“We’re just puzzled why this came up all of a sudden; we’ve had these regulations for years,” Diaz said “We’ve heard allegations [against Jacobs], and that’s not new. We have talked to the manager, but there’s just a misunderstanding. I don’t know if there’s other motives and I don’t know what’s going on, but we are working on it.”
Others say they aren’t so sure. One cemetery employee—who asked the Sun not to use his name because he still works at the cemetery—said that the manager has caused a toxic work environment for employees, and the board members are a part of the problem.
“The board’s not doing anything to resolve the problem; they have done nothing but create chaos for employees trying to work for the community,” the employee said. “It’s sad we don’t have the proper channels to feel like we’re listened to, and [feel] like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not seeing it as promising as it could be,”
The strain has taken a toll on his mental health, the employee said, adding that he’s had nervous breakdowns at work since the new management took over and debated leaving. He said he’s seen the new manager dismiss families and visitors, roll his eyes at them, lock the entrance gates early, and request that the sprinklers get turned on during weekends—which are peak visitor hours.
“There’s so much chaos that it makes me sick to my stomach to come to work. … It’s not just a business, it’s a place where we need to have some kind of compassion, and it starts with the employees,” the employee said. “I’ve got to stay positive, but sometimes I want to go home and stick my head in a hole.”
The only way he sees any future change for the better is a change in management and a change on the board of trustees. He explained that the majority have held their seats for at least 10 years, there aren’t any females on the board, and there isn’t Latino representation either. He said he’d like to see new board members who better represent Santa Maria.
“The poison’s always been the board members, and they are allowing a person to continue that poison. It’s upsetting to say the least,” the employee said. “This is the final chapter of people’s lives, and we want the people that come to feel like their loved ones are respected to the fullest.”
Reach Staff Writer Taylor O’Connor at toconnor@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Apr 7-14, 2022.