From my view on the bench this week, I can see a sandbox. The sides are painted a bright and inviting red, the sand is white and perfect for child-like molding.
There are groups of kids in each part of the sandbox, playing games. In one corner, some kids are role-playing characters from The Avengers, while, in another corner, a pair of children is building a giant sandcastle. To one side of the sandbox, a kid is playing with a toy dump truck, while two children in the center are playing My Little Pony. Each of these kids is doing his or her thing, totally content to just be there. No one is delivering orders or declaring rules.
While that description is a wonderful tribute to our collective childhood memories of the sandbox, it also has a deeper meaning.
In this instance, the sandbox is a symbol for acceptance and tolerance; everyone is allowed to come in and play. No one likes to be told she can’t join the fun; I remember the dejection I felt after being told I couldn’t play in the sandbox because I “dressed funny.”
But not all sandboxes are as accepting of differences and ways of living as the one I described. Take, for instance, the professional sports “sandbox,” which you’re allowed in only if you are good, you work hard, and put fans in the stands—and only if you’re straight, of course.
While acceptance of gays in professional American sports has grown in the last few years, there is still an underlying stigma and prejudice against this group of people. These stigmas are perpetuated and allowed to continue through the thoughts and actions of players like 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver, who said in a 2013 radio interview that gays should stay in the closet.
Then there are people like lobbyist Jack Burkman who announced to The New York Times that he will be pushing for legislation to ban gays from playing professional football, because “we are losing our decency as a nation.”
By all appearances, the sports world has greatly lagged behind society in terms of changing with the times and adapting to differences. Suffice to say people tread a thin and dangerous line when they start telling people what they can and can’t do. Our country has not been free of segregation laws long enough to forget what I mean by this.
All of this prejudice begs an important question in my mind: Are gays being discriminated against because of their sexuality, or because they aren’t perceived as “real men”?
Whatever the reason, I, the Benchwarmer, am here to say it’s time to get over it. I’d like to think it’s because I’m a modern individual who doesn’t see anything wrong with people who are gay, and that I’m an accepting individual. It could also be because I was an athlete, have two gay uncles, and am very passionate about this issue.
Jason Collins of the Brooklyn Nets took one giant step for mankind’s intellectual development by announcing he is gay. A 35-year-old African American center, Collins did something no other athlete has dared to do. The “gays in pro sports” movement needed some rejuvenation; for a long time, the campaign has waited for an athlete with the gumption and courage to come out during his career. Many professional athletes don’t admit to their true sexuality until they’re retired.
In doing this, Collins sends a powerful message to other gay athletes everywhere, especially youth who idolize professional players, about being honest about their identity. Collins told The New York Times, “be your true, authentic self, and never be afraid or ashamed or have any fear to be your true, authentic self.”
Well said, Jason.
Then there is 24-year-old Michael Sam, who in May will likely become the first openly gay player to join the ranks of the NFL. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is where the greatest shift in thinking will need to take place. The NFL is the most discriminating sandbox in the recess yard because of players like the 49ers’ Culliver, who thinks there are no other gay players on his team.
I would like to go back to my question about why gays are being discriminated against in sports in the first place. If it’s because of their sexuality, that’s an irrelevant argument. As far as I’m concerned, the sexual habits of any athlete don’t matter on the field. Athletes are there to play, not pass judgment one another’s sex life.
Then there is the predominant fallacy that being gay automatically makes you a “wussy” man. This is a ridiculous assumption that supports the idea that it’s OK to judge a book by its cover. If you want to bring science into it, there is no scientific evidence that being gay results in having different, weaker muscle structure or personality.
So why else are gay athletes being discriminated against? Through my research, I discovered that a lot of the issue comes down to the fabled locker room. Numerous sports articles cite that professional athletes (namely football players) are not ready for this kind of change. The straight athletes feel uncomfortable showering in front of gay players and being near them in such a close environment.
Seriously? Grow up. On one hand, the NFL players who follow this line of thinking must be narcissistic if they think every gay man (in addition to every woman) is “checking them out.” I played with several lesbian teammates in college; I shared dorms with them and hotel rooms during travel. Never did I feel like they were taking advantage of that time to check me out or to hit on me. To think otherwise is a shallow and narrow assumption of an individual’s character.
Human sexuality, and how we choose to express it, is only one aspect of who we are as individuals. When it comes to sports, I don’t see how sexuality figures in. The common bond uniting athletes is not whether they go home to a man or a woman at the end of practice, but rather being an athlete itself—the work, the dedication, the sacrifice. That is truly what unites and defines both professional and amateur athletes. In an ideal world, playing sports is a universal activity that spans cultures, languages, and sexuality to include everyone who wants to play.
Now let’s go back to our sandbox. Imagine that little red sandbox as the new symbol for professional sports. Gone are the days of the mean, discriminating sandbox. Instead, this sandbox lets everyone in. Each corner is filled with players from different walks of life, happy in their profession. This is a sandbox for anyone who just wants to play. Isn’t that what sports is all about?
But what do I know? I’m just a Benchwarmer who’s starting her own sandbox.
Staff Writer Kristina Sewell thinks everyone should be able to play. Contact her at ksewell@santamariasun.com.
This article appears in Mar 27 – Apr 3, 2014.