Tuesday, June 18, 2019     Volume: 20, Issue: 15

Santa Maria Sun / Humor

The following article was posted on October 17th, 2018, in the Santa Maria Sun - Volume 19, Issue 33 [ Submit a Story ]
The following articles were printed from Santa Maria Sun [santamariasun.com] - Volume 19, Issue 33

Last comic standing: Krider's comedic ego takes a hit

By Rob Krider

I was at a dinner party recently, hanging out with some folks who were a mixture of friends, acquaintances, and complete randoms. I was standing around, shamefully eating carbs and arguably drinking too many IPAs. I was standing next to my wife, who wasn't eating carbs and therefore looked hungry.

Suddenly, a woman from across the room starts dragging her husband toward us and exclaims, "This is the person I was telling you about, so funny!" This wasn't a shocking thing to occur. I do write this humor column for the Sun, and I have written an entire book, Cadet Blues, which, in my extremely un-humble opinion, is very funny. I also tell a great vasectomy story at dinner parties whenever asked, so ultimately, I categorize myself as a genuinely funny person.

As the woman got closer, I was preparing for her to praise me for a witty line in one of my many columns or maybe a chapter of my book. I was even ready to sign an autograph if necessary (I keep a black Sharpie in my pocket at all times just in case somebody is a fan, or if I want to fix the grammar on some public restroom graffiti). She was about three feet away, still dragging her husband in tow when she said, "I wake up every day and get on my tablet just to enjoy a laugh."

Wow. Every day? This lady was a big fan. I only write this column once a month; she must be on my website going through the archive to get a laugh every single day. Good thing I had my Sharpie at the ready. She obviously loved her some Krider humor.

"She is so funny on Facebook!"

Wait. What? She is so funny? On Facebook? My wife?

"I just love the stories she writes. She's hilarious."

No, no, no. I'm the hilarious one. I'm the one whose actual job it is to be hilarious. My wife just tosses up little quips on the internet for free. That isn't the same. I'm the one who is published in an actual newspaper and who has a book on Amazon. Me. Not my wife. I'm the one who went through rejection letters, dealt with editors, met deadlines, and have been published in more than 30 different periodicals. I actually had to work to be reasonably funny and legitimately published. I don't just sit on the toilet with an iPad and type lines like, "My husband is so dumb he thinks all nuts are peanuts."

As this lady went on and on about how funny my wife is, my ego was taking a big hit. This lady loves what my wife said about our kids. She loved what my wife said about shampoo. I've written columns about the kids before. I've covered shampoo, extensively, and it was funny. Has this lady ever read Man Overboard? Nope.

This lady doesn't own a copy of Cadet Blues. She has put zero dollars in my bank account. She just logs on to Facebook, and enjoys a daily posting about how dumb I am from my wife each day, for free. This lady reads the posts and laughs and shares it with her seven friends. And they love it too. Don't get me wrong, my wife, whom I love, is funny, but she's no established humor columnist. After the lady went away without my autograph I asked my wife, "What exactly are you putting on Facebook?"

"Just stuff about us."

"But, I have an entire column and a book about us."

"Yeah, your column is too long. Plus, people don't like to click on links. People just want to scroll through Facebook and read a few lines. I guess they like what I write."

Well, there you have it folks, if you really want a good laugh, friend Sara Krider on Facebook. Apparently, she is super hilarious! 

Rob has asked that his wife post this story on her Facebook feed. She is considering it, but her followers have certain expectations. Read more from Rob Krider at robkrider.com.

Weekly Poll
Should the proposed aquifer exemption in Cat Canyon be approved?

Yes—the water from the proposed area can't serve as drinking water.
No—oil containments could still pollute usable groundwater.
Additional oil and gas projects can create more jobs.
We need to move away from oil and gas and look at renewable energy projects.

| Poll Results