Good job, guys! Way to keep the pandemic at bay!
Oh wait, actually, we haven’t done that. Santa Barbara County, which blamed its high numbers on the Lompoc federal prison a month ago, is currently on a state watch list because its COVID-19 numbers are increasing at an uncomfortable rate. And, as an added bonus, we can no longer blame inmates for our problems.
Guess what, everyone? The pandemic is definitely not over.
So, that freedom to booze with the public that you thought was coming this Fourth of July isn’t coming. Instead, your favorite neighborhood bar got shut down again on July 1 at 8 a.m. thanks to a new order from the county Public Health Department. And the only people you have to blame are those non-mask wearing, non-social-distancing barflies!
You know who you are.
The statement the county issued about the order on June 28 said that bars are environments where many people mix and that alcohol can impair judgement, reducing people’s compliance with safety measures. Uh duh? I could have told you that before you let people start drinking together in small spaces again.
What a mess we’re in! It’s basically the economy versus health, which is not a good spot to be.
But hey, Goldman Sachs research finds that a national mask mandate could save 5 percent of the nation’s GDP for the year, according to Marketplace. And all that lender cares about is money, not people’s health, so you’ve got to believe them, right?
“A face mask mandate could potentially substitute for lockdowns that would otherwise subtract nearly 5 percent from GDP,” the financial giant said in a report it sent to clients.
So wear a mask, people! Social distance! And we won’t have to shut down more of your favorite places to spend money and the economy because people are dying due to your incompetence.
Even Dignity Health Centers of the Central Coast, which puts out the most positive-sounding press releases in the world about all of the good it does for the community, felt the need to warn the community about coronavirus.
“While we may be growing tired of the disruption coronavirus has on our daily lives, the COVID-19 pandemic is not behind us, and we urge community members to continue to make their health and safety a priority,” an email Dignity sent out on June 30 stated.
Santa Barbara County now has almost 3,000 cases, 29 people have died, and we’ve doubled the number of people in the hospital in one month. So let’s go ahead and put the brakes on that forward momentum, shall we?
And just for clarity. The pandemic isn’t a hoax. Mask mandates are only being imposed because people have refused to voluntarily do what’s best for their fellow citizens. People are idiots. And the alleged greatest country in the world—that’s us—is indeed Great Again. Great at being loud, proud, and catching COVID-19.
Woo-hoo! Congratulations!
Americans now make up a quarter of the coronavirus cases around the world. At 4 percent of the world’s population, that’s quite a feat. Hell yeah! And guess who helped make it happen? Yep. Your president.
The canary is busy writing President Donald Trump a thank you card. Send help to [email protected].
